Bah! Humbug!

Anyone know when Christmas is? I always thought it was 25 December.

It's not even Advent yet (it starts on 27 November this year), and I have just received my first Christmas card.

Some sad individual in Bolton is whining because the Christmas lights she put up in October have been nicked. It serves you right for putting them up too soon. Get a bloody life, woman! And don't give us that crap about how your three year old loves Christmas so much - it only knows what you tell it, so try teaching it about Christ instead of capitalism.

Anything commercially Christmas-related should be illegal until Advent (except for Advent calendars which should be on sale one week before).

People think I don't like Christmas. They're wrong, I do. I just like it to be at Christmas.