I'm blaming Punzie

Cos I'm drunk and it's all her fault. So there. Zzzz
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Salads 'rival Big Macs for fat'

Well, according to the BBC they do.  A survey by Which? magazine goes on to cite examples such as 'Marks and Spencer's Pasta with Tomato & Basil Chicken', Sainsbury's Thai Chicken Noodle and 'Sainsbury's Tomato & Basil Chicken'.

Excuse me?  These are pasta and noodle dishes, not salads. 

Most people equate 'salad' with plants (although the word 'salad' actually means 'mixture') and, therefore, I think this article is misleading.

This biased article will only serve to allow some people to normalise stuffing their faces with burgers whilst saying "it's no more fattening than salad".  They'll probably go on to blame Which? or the BBC for them being overweight.

Salad vegetables are low fat.  It's the other stuff you put with them, like dressings and mayonnaise that makes it fattening.  Eat a proper vegetable salad and, believe me, you won't be eating a lot of fat.

My mum got it right years ago.  She said that if you buy fresh food and don't live off food mixed and prepared in factories, you will have a healthier diet.  Stop buying convenience foods and learn how to prepare stuff yourself.  It's not difficult.

Drever, McCusker & Woomble

A great gig, spoiled only by the couple in front of me who, between them, managed to obscure 90% of my view of the stage. I ended up sitting with one arse cheek off the edge of the seat and my head on one side, just so I could see. I have backache now.

Eventually, I had to tell them to sit back in their seats. The woman, who was clearly bored witless, gave me a really dirty look, so I smiled and then sat back to hear "this is our last song, thank you".

Fortunately for me, the band did two more songs as an encore, so I actually managed to see and hear everything for three whole songs.

I was pleased that Chris Drever sang 'The Poorest Company' because I love that song. It's one I'm trying to learn.

John McCusker played a wonderful medley which raised the biggest cheer of the night. If I could play half as well as him, I'd be very chuffed indeed.

One thing that did make my night is that D, M & W have released their album on vinyl, so I had to buy one. Yes, some of us still prefer vinyl.

I'm home now and blogging from my bed, absolutely knackered. Night night everyone.
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Heidi Talbot & Boo Hewardine

It's the interval of a cracking gig at Bury Met. I came to see Drever, McCusker & Woomble (not that I hero-worship John McCusker at all...), but I'm seriously impressed with the support act, Heidi & Boo. Heidi has a beautiful voice & a lovely stage presence & I might just be buying her record. Yes, she has a 12" vinyl out - fantastic!
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Hayfever - the light at the end of the tunnel?

It's OK, I'm not going to repeat my annual whinges about hayfever in this post.  Oh no.  I think i may have found a solution.  My friend Claire suggested one of these .  It cost me £15 - about the cost of 2 prescriptions, so if it works, it'll be well worth the money.

OK, I have realised that I look a complete idiot whilst using it (think Arnie in Total Recall when he's taking the bug out of his head), but it does actually seem to be working.

Day One

I sneezed as soon as I put the thing in my nose, and continued to sneeze for a good minute afterwards.  It was a bit messy.  It also made my eyes stream to the point where the tears were dripping off my chin.  The pharmacist said that i would have to use it 4 times a day, and it really starts to take effect after about 3 days.

Day Two

My eyes are still streaming, and I'm still sneezing like mad when I use it.  However, I've not been sneezing as much in between times.

Day Three

I woke up at 5:30am, courtesy of the milkman and his noisy diesel-powered 'float'.  Although my eyes were a bit sticky, my nose wasn't bunged up at all.  I went back to sleep and woke up to the alarm clock at 6:45 - still not bunged up.

At 7:30am, I managed to use the device for 2½ minutes before sneezing.  This time, my eyes started watering towards the end of using it, rather than immediately, as before.  I was a little bunged up around 10am, but cleared it easily with a single Locket sweet.  Felt fine until dinner time.

12:10 - second use of the day.  No sneezing, no runny nose, no runny eyes.  Result?  Possibly.

They're all at it!

My garden is full of sparrows doing a bit of jiggy jiggy, and making a right racket too. Mrs Blackbird looks somewhat bemused.
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Hayfever

Seeing as this is an annual event, I thought I'd bump this one: Hayfever is Hell

Has anyone found a cure yet? I'm suffocating here!

Happy Birthday Cath!

I'm sitting in Cath's back garden, putting the world to rights :o). Ah, happy days. Well, evenings ;o)
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Sponsor Julie Hilling to raise money for Bolton Hospice!

My friend Julie will be taking part in Bolton Hospice's Midnight Memories walk on Saturday, to raise some much needed money to help to improve the quality of life for patients and the people close to them who face the problems associated with life-threatening disease.

It costs approximately £1.2m each year to provide the service and almost all of this has to be raised by the Hospice and its supporters, so even if you donate only £1.00, every little bit will help to keep this valuable service running.

Please, give 'em some money!

and there we have it

Only seconds after saying I had nothing to rant about, there was a knock at my door. Now, as it happens, I was sitting in the smallest room, reading. So, I broke off from my task to go & answer the door, only to find it was a young man with a clipboard, wanting to talk to the 'homeowner' but not selling anything. Honest. He was very polite, though, when I said "no thanks".

I tend to work on the theory that if someone comes to my door trying to sell me something I didn't know I wanted, then I probably don't want it.
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Mobile ranting

Now I've discovered how to rant from my mobile, I might get round to a few more posts.

So, what can I whinge about today? Well, apart from the builders repairing the roof at my office making enough noise to wake the dead, not a lot has happened, and I can't really blame the builders - there's a job to be done.

Ho hum. I wonder if I have time for a snooze before venturing off to the wilds of Blackrod?
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You know you're really tired when...

you throw your socks in the wardrobe & your shoes in the laundry basket.
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Possibly the most annoying advert ever

These kids really scare me.

What this advert says is "You've got grey hair so you've no chance of pulling a bird; you're a loser, with patronising brats".

Words cannot describe just how much I hate this advert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z03SEPGC_EA

The Devil's Doctor

Thursday night saw the Pikey and me, Punzie, Og, Rook, Ali & Shoeless all traipsing out to Edge Hill University to see The Devil's Doctor - a play about the life of Paracelsus. It was particularly interesting for me, because I studied the History of Medcine for my GCSE History and it has always held a fascination for me.

I don't get to go to the theatre often, but I was glad that I saw this - it was one of the funniest plays I have ever seen. The actors were superb and interacted with the audience, and I was particularly impressed with the improvisation after a prop 'malfunction'. There was one point where I was laughing so much that I had difficulty in breathing. I'm sure I recognise the bloke playing Paracelsus, but I never did find out his name.

Oh yeah, and Og nicked one of their pens, after purchasing a stolen staff for 50p. He did whinge that he never got his 50p back, but as we pointed out, "buyer beware!". (Don't worry, he wasn't really upset ;o) )

It's on again next Saturday at Bury College, and I can highly recommend it. Not for little kids though.

Snow!

OK, so we've had a little snow. On 2 December 2008, our town was brought to a standstill because, although the council claims that all the roads were gritted, there was another snowfall after it had been done. It took me over an hour to travel quarter of a mile, before I gave up trying to get to work, and went home instead. To be honest, it's a good job that I did, because I came down with the flu (yes, not just a cold), and I couldn't walk properly for about 3 days.

Anyway, earlier this week, a few schools were closed here because of the snow which, at my estimation was about 3 inches deep. Apparently it was out of concern for the safety of the children. When I was a kid, the only time the school was closed in winter was when the central heating packed in. We had to walk the mile to school through snow, hail & wind and just get on with it. I remember on some days, the teachers even let us stay indoors at dinnertime, if we wanted to. So when did we become so soft? I guess it was when lawyers started telling people to sue others for their own stupidity/incompetence.

This morning, on the way into work, it was snowing lightly, but there were far fewer cars than usual. I guess people are either taking days off, or working from home. It made my journey nice and quick anyway.

So much to rant about, so little time

Believe me, I've not stopped ranting, it's just that I've not had a moment to spare recently. However, I feel a few minor rants coming on today...

Merry Christmas everyone

Having spent the last two months telling everyone "Buggeroff, it's not Christmas yet", I can now officially announce that it is, at last, Christmas.

You all have my permission to begin partying!

The Five Minute Nativity

Tracing the nativity back to its roots, the wonderful Professor Pierre O'Bollox has captured the essence of the story beautifully.

However, if you happen to be a God-botherer who is easily offended, don't bother going and reading it, you won't like it.

Click here to read the story

A matter of dedication

If Alistair Carmichael, MP for Orkney and Shetland, can manage to go back to his constituency almost every week, why can't Ruth Kelly be arsed to visit her Bolton constituency as often?

Mr. Carmichael has a 1,400 mile round trip each week by train, plane and sometimes by boat, whilst Ms. Kelly would only have to do 440.

I think it has something to do with dedication to your job, and an interest in the people you serve. Mr. Carmichael's constituents should be proud of him. He has the longest and most difficult journey home, but still manages it. Perhaps it's because he actually lives in Orkney, and not in London.

This BBC article is a very interesting insight into Mr. Carmichael's dedication to job. Read it and learn.

Are you missing out on religion?

Not for those who have had a sense of humour bypass.

Edith Appleton's diary

Edith Appleton was my friend Dick Robinson's Great Aunt. Born in 1877, the tenth of thirteen children, she went on to spend many years nursing, including five years service during WWI when she served on the front lines in France.

Edith's diary is a fascinating insight into the daily lives of the medical staff on the front lines, and how bravely these men and women dealt with the horrors of war.

There are some parts which made me smile, like Edith's joy at having a bath - something we all take for granted these days:

"I don’t fancy bathing in company, but as I have not sat in water deeper than 1 inch since last year the temptation to go is great."

"Up to our necks in water - glorious! The first time for months and months! A dear old nun came trotting in when I was in my bath, felt to see the water was right heat, thought the bath was too full and pulled the plug by a patent in the floor, I was sitting on the hole where the water runs away and was sucked hard into it!"

Edith was awarded several medals for her service, and photographs of them can be found on the website. There's a couple of medals that Dick cannot identify, so if anyone can help, please let him know - his contact details are on the site.

I am very pleased that Dick has published these diaries and I look forward to listening to him talk about them on Radio 4 this afternoon.

When 'voluntary' really means 'compulsory'

Some pubs in Aberdeen are introducing drug testing as a condition of entry. I don't have time right now to go into just how wrong I think that is (machine faults, prescription drugs, over-zealous Police etc.) but what has really angered me is this statement:

"The test is voluntary, but customers will be refused entry if they do not take part."

So what they're saying is that it is not voluntary at all, it is compulsory. Big brother would, undoubtedly, say "of course it's voluntary, you don't have to go into the pub if you don't want to take the test", but that's just playing semantics/pedantics. It is compulsory and an erosion of our civil liberties.

I can see what will happen; people will see the drug testing taking place and decide not to go into the pub. The Police will say "Oh look! Someone choosing not to go into the pub, they must be guilty, quick! Stop and search them!"

Something else will happen too, pubs will lose business. I don't take drugs, but there's no way I would go into any pub which wanted to test me. To insist on testing people is a presumtion of guilt, which goes against what this country's law is allegedly based upon, innocent until proven guilty.

How would the pubs like it if every customer demanded to test the strength/quality of their beer every single time they ordered a pint? After all, I've been in a few pubs where the beer tasted watered-down.

The curse of Pipex

The curse of Pipex has struck again. Open University students who are unfortunate enough to have Pipex as their ISP are being denied access to the OU's servers in the evening because Pipex is 'Traffic Managing' and treating the OU client/server interface as a peer to peer network, which it is most definitely not.

Pipex, of course, deny that they are doing this. However, it's a bit strange that ever since Tiscali took over from Pipex, no OU students have been able to access the server in the evenings. This means that they cannot get on with their coursework or access their tutor groups or course conferences, having the knock-on effect that they can't get on with a fair chunk of their studying.

I wonder how many students will hold Pipex responsible if they fail their courses because they couldn't access some of the materials when they needed to?

If there's anyone from Pipex reading this, please, I beg you on behalf of the quarter of a million OU students out there, STOP BLOCKING PORT 510! It is NOT P2P, it is a client/server relationship. Pipex is preventing legitimate use of the service because of ignorance.

EDIT - Sunday 26 Oct - My fellow students and I still can't get into the server in the evenings. I have had enough and I intend to ditch Pipex in favour of an ISP that does actually give a shit, and bothers to respond to complaints instead of either ignoring them completely or keep asking for information such as my date of birth, which is bloody irrelevant and just a delaying tactic because they can't be arsed to resolve the matter.

I find it very sad that Pipex, which once had a reputation for excellent physical service and customer service, has turned into a pile of crap since being taken over by Tiscali.

and another thing...

It's rather sad that I can only find the time to write in this blog when I'm ill.

Urgh

I am full of snot, coughing my guts up and generally feeling quite poo.

I was feeling ill at the end of last week but, rather stupidly, overdid it at the weekend and now I'm paying the price.

Last night, I was running a very high temperature, yet still felt freezing cold. I was snuggled up with my hot water bottle, under my winter duvet, and still didn't feel warm.

A hot shower and a cup of cocoa helped a little and, rather surprisingly, I nodded off and slept for 14 hours. I woke up feeling like I've been punched in the head, but I'm not cold any more.

I am now wrapped up on the sofa, laptop on knee, cup of tea in hand and seriously considering going back to bed.

Changing the meaning of words

Have you ever looked at a word written down and thought "that doesn't look right". The more you look at it, the more it looks wrong. You spell it out letter by letter, but it still looks wrong, so you check the dictionary and the spelling there matches the word on your page, yet it still looks wrong.

I have found that the same thing happens with the spoken word; the more you say a word over and over again, the stranger it sounds. Sometimes it even takes on a completely different meaning.

One such word that has been bugging me recently is 'homeowner'. If you watch the television, listen to the radio or read any newspapers, you cannot escape this word. Financial organisations offer loans and 'debt consolidation' agreements to homeowners, the news tells of homeowners struggling to pay mortgages or maintain their level of spending. We are bombarded with media talking about, or to 'homeowners' (sic.) Yes, one word, 'homeowner', as opposed to 'home owner' or 'home-owner'.

It has become a single word, which now presents me with a bit of a problem. Every time I hear the word 'homeowner' I wonder if it is the new term for a person who is unhappy with the service received from a prostitute.

Is it just me?

Children 'ruining' visits to pubs

So, the Good Pub Guide has finally acknowledged what I have long known to be the truth: a lot of people don't want kids in pubs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, kids should not be in pubs unless they are sat quietly with their parents, and do not leave their seats unaccompanied. I avoid like the plague those pubs which market themselves towards families, because I know that it will be a noisy hell inside.

When I was a kid, most pubs didn't let kids in, but they did have a beer garden where the kids could play. Nowadays, the little buggers get everywhere and if you dare to complain that someone else's brat is under your table, the parents seem to think that it's your fault and that you are the nasty one.

I was extremely gratified to read that one of my favourite pubs, Ye Olde Man and Scythe in Bolton no longer allows children in the pub (including those in pushchairs - yes, they're still kids, you know!). In the case of this wonderful establishment, I suspect it has an awful lot to do with the limited space in the bar area, one pushchair could cause utter chaos. However, the lack of kids is not the only reason for paying a visit, they also serve an excellent range of ales, ciders and whiskies, and you are guaranteed a friendly welcome. Once a year, the landlord also volunteers to get his head chopped off, but I'll let you look at the website to find out why!

I digress. Landlords, remember, some pubs get trade because they let kids in, other pubs get trade because they don't. Personally, I'll go to the ones who dont.

Why is the UK populated by people 'passive against crime'? According to leading think-tank 'Reform', it is because we insist that something should be done, but we're not prepared to do it ourselves, relying, instead, on the courts, the Police and the Government.

Actually, I think they're missing a very big point. People don't get involved because, thanks to 'human rights' legislation, the victims or defenders of victims of crime are often treated worse than the criminals themselves. The media is always reporting stories of people who get arrested for having injured, threatened or even just hurt the feelings of criminals.

Let me tell you a little tale. My elderly uncle awoke in the early hours of the morning and heard a noise downstairs. He went to investigate and found a burglar in his kitchen. He shouted, and the burglar threatened him with a knife. My uncle grabbed a bag from the side and hit the man over the head with it. The burglar ran away, but was later apprehended by the Police. What really shocked us, was that my uncle was also arrested, for assault, following a complaint from the burglar. No charges were ever brought, but my uncle, a war veteran and respectable man, never really recovered from the incident and said that he had lost faith in the Police.

Let me tell you another little tale. My friend was walking down a main shopping street when he heard a woman screaming. A thief had snatched her handbag and was running towards my friend. My friend, a very big lad, stepped out and stuck out his arm. The thief ran into his arm and fell, and my friend apprehended him. When the Police arrived, they arrested the thief, and my friend accompanied them to the Police station to give evidence. A short while later, the arresting officer told my friend that the thief wanted to press charges of assault against him, on the advice of his solicitor. Fortunately, in this case, the Police Officer was a sensible human being and thought that this was a silly idea and persuaded the thief and the solicitor that it was not a good idea.

Why on earth would decent law-abiding citizens wish to get involved in preventing and tackling crime, when they end up being treated like criminals themselves?

Until the law is changed, and some common sense applied, people are best staying out of it. Personally, I believe that if someone breaks into your property and threatens you with violence, you should have the right to beat seven shades of the brown sticky stuff out of them. Whilst this nanny state treats criminals with kid gloves, they are not going to reform. However, if they got thumped every time they broke the law, they might change their minds. Instant retribution is what's needed, not months of paperwork and waiting.

Of course, this leads on to the semantics of what constitutes 'reasonable force'. I could go on forever with that one. Perhaps 'equal force' might be more appropriate... ?

What's wrong with Bolton?

Actually, there's nothing at all wrong with Bolton. It's a wonderful town and I am proud to be a resident.

However, anyone from outside Bolton, who is unlucky enough to read the online version of the local newspaper, would think it is the most dreadful town in England. The paper specialises in little but bad news, and the standard of the reporting is, at best, poor. It concentrates on trivia and the only thing that makes it interesting for the ordinary person is the liberal use of poor spelling and grammar, giving fodder to the regulars of the online forum.

It is very rare that they have many 'good news' stories (with the notable exception of the recent Olympic success of Jason Kenny), and this weekend, it seems as though they were so short of stories that they have approached our excellent fire service for statistics and then made each item into a drama. There is a part of me that thinks that publishing all these stories of bin fires is just giving bored teenagers bad ideas.

A selection of headlines from the past two days:

• Man stabbed in Bury
• Arsonist target bin
• Fire in derelict house
• Den destroyed in arson attack
• Rubbish set alight
• Arsonists target van
• TV sparks incident
• Dryer blaze
• Pan sparks blaze
• Call to end SATs fails at council meeting
• £40,000 damage as boyfriend drives car into bungalow
• Man to be sentenced for animal cruelty
• Woman jailed for attack on baby
• Post delivered to empty house
• Developers face ASBO threat over illegal signs
• Vehicle destroyed in fire
• Car destroyed in blaze
• Arsonists target car
• Boy suffers burns
• Man admits raping teenage schoolgirl

Yes, folks, come to Bolton, but don't use the paper as your guide.

Lancashire's Sacred Landscape: From Prehistory to the Viking Age

I have had the priviledge of reading some of the draft pages of this book, and it's excellent. Get out there and buy it!

Exam results are out - quick squeal for your life!

What is it with teenagers these days? You see the news reports on the telly of successful young folk receiving their exam results, and they celebrate by squealing and screaming and jumping around and hugging their friends. What drugs are they on?

Don't get me wrong, I'm really chuffed for all of them. They've worked hard for their results, and good luck to them.

What's all the screaming about though? When I got my GCSE results, we were just handed a thin strip of paper with the list of results on and told "there they are, bye then" and that was it. Go home and find a summer job. When I got my A-Level results, we were taken, one at a time, into a private room where a tutor would tell us our results and then, those of us who had applied for university places, were told which universities had accepted us and which had rejected us. (I still can't believe I chose Hull over Durham though!) There was no screaming, no hugging the tutor or our mates, it was a business-like affair followed by a swift half in the pub before going back to our summer jobs.

I really can't be doing with all of this childish demonstrative celebration and it worries me that these highly-strung teenagers are the future of this country.

Or maybe I'm just a boring old bastard with nothing better to do than sit here and whinge.

Baba O'Riley

When I was a kid, my parents bought me an electronic keyboard. I had great fun with it, and discovered that I could play a brief, meaningless twiddle, and then play it back, speed it up and loop it. My mum hated it, and used to get really annoyed, and I used to giggle and do it all the more.

Recently, Rock Radio has been playing Baba O'Riley by The Who quite a lot, and now I understand exactly why my mum used to get annoyed. Baba O'Riley has to have one of the worst intro/backing tracks ever. It sounds just like the stuff I was doing when I was 8 years old - a tuneless twiddle speeded up to add extra irritation. Every time that track is played, I have the urge to throw the radio through the window.

I'm sorry mum, I truly am. Now I understand the hell I put you through.

Junk mail ... ?

Why does our office cleaner seem to think that my 'in' tray is a holding bay for junk?

Every day, I put the work I need to deal with into the 'in' tray. Logical, eh? So why is it that every morning when I sit at my desk, I have to clear out random objects such as coasters, used stamps, pens, scraps of paper, used envelopes and bulldog clips? Grrrrr. Maybe I should invest in an addition tray and mark it "Random Shite".

Even better, this morning, I found that my paper recycling box was full of tin cans and bits of plastic. Marvellous.

I just love spending the first 15 minutes of each day putting things back where they were the previous evening. You'd think that after 5 years, the cleaner would realise that I put stuff where I want it, and leave it there.

Loony Right strikes again

Apparently it's so grim up north, that everyone should move south. Stupid buggers. Can't they see beyond Watford Gap?

The people at 'Policy Exchange' have said that people should be told the "reality" to avoid them becoming "trapped" in less prosperous parts of the country. Oh yeah? So they'd rather just overcrowd the south with people who don't want to be there? How would towns become prosperous at all if people moved out? Surely to make towns prosper, people should move in?

Occasionally, I have to go to London for work-related reasons, and I hate the place. It's full of people rushing around everywhere, and I always get the impression that it's grimy and sweaty. Well, it is on the tube anyway. You get off the train and are swept away in a fast current of people plugged into mobile phones and music-producing devices, too busy in their own little worlds to smile, or even notice when they're shoving other people out of the way. No thanks, I'd rather stay up here.

I wonder how much time these loonies spent discussing this topic before making this ridiculous statement? I had a quick look at their website and saw a quotation from Oliver Letwin, praising them to the heavens. I would be very reluctant to take seriously any group endorsed by that twit.

Sorry, no kids

Thanks to Ferritt for bringing my attention to this news story about a couple who have complained after the vicar at their wedding asked for their noisy child to be removed from the church because he was disrupting the ceremony.

So, should be kids be banned from weddings? Well, of course that should be down to the bride and groom, and there's plenty of people who will say that of course kids should be there to join in the celebrations.

Let me put the other point of view. I have been to many events, not just weddings, where kids have run riot in church and at receptions and parties. They get under your feet, they're noisy and often a complete and utter pain in the arse, skidding around on their knees and screaming. My own wedding dress was ripped, because of a kid jumping up and down on the train because he thought it was funny to try to make me fall over. Believe me, I was not impressed. My mum didn't spend £500 on a beautiful silk dress just so some brat could wreck it within hours.

Then there's the kids in pubs. Oh how I could go on about that for hours. When I go to a pub, it's because I want to have a drink with my friends, not because I want someone else's brat screaming in my ear and crawling around under the table. Pubs are not places for kids to play. Yes, there are some pubs which do cater especially for kids, giving them fantastic play areas, and I have no problem at all with that, so long as the kids stay in the play areas and don't think that it's OK to play around my feet. Indeed, the sure-fire way of guaranteeing I would not go in a pub, is when it has a big sign outside reading 'Wacky Warehouse' or something similar.

So, you may think that I really hate kids, but you'd be wrong. It's irresponsible parents that I hate. If your kid is being a pain in the arse, don't just let them annoy everyone else, sort them out! Don't wait for someone to tell you that your kid is a nuisance, you should be intelligent enough to spot that for yourself.

I once told off a small child for banging the telephone receiver up and down on top of my television set, and the mother said "Don't you tell off my child, he's only being a little tinker". Through gritted teeth, I replied "He might only be a little tinker, but if he breaks either the telephone or the television, YOU will be buying me a new one". Funnily enough, she decided to deal with him pretty quickly after that. It wasn't the kid's fault - he'd never been told what was, and was not acceptable behaviour. On completely the opposite tack, Smurf once threw someone out of our house because he over-disciplined his child. He hit her so hard he knocked her off her feet. She wasn't hurt, but that wasn't the point. If you can't teach and discipline your children without resorting to violence, then you need to seek help. Best of all, just don't have kids.