30 August 2007

Lost for words

What has happened to the English language? Well, not much really. It evolves, just like any other language evolves. What I really mean is 'when did the educational standards fall so low that adults seem to be unable to meet the standards of language expected from primary school children?"

What's triggered this mini rant then? I have just received an e-mail containing 433 words, all as a single block of plain text, and not a capital letter in sight. There are plenty of full stops though, littered all over the place, not just at the end of sentences. The spelling is dreadful too. The correspondent complains about 'immergrents'. Believe me, some of the immigrants I deal with have a far better standard of English than many of the 'natives' I deal with.

Street justice

This is what happened to a drug dealer in Northern Ireland. He was tarred, feathered, tied to a lamppost and had a sign hung round his neck, reading 'I'm a drug dealing scumbag'. Police have described it as 'brutal and barbaric' and have condemned the action.
So let's think about this.
The residents in the area that this person was operating had reported him to the Police on numerous occasions, but no action was taken, even though it is claimed that he was selling drugs to children. Fed up of no action, the residents took it upon themselves to deal with it.
The man was publicly humiliated, but he wasn't killed or maimed, just embarrassed and inconvenienced. Hopefully, he'll get the message and behave himself in future.
But what if they'd got the wrong man? Again, no physical harm was caused, but it could have ruined his life. Mud sticks. Or in this case, tar.
Every day we hear about drug dealers, gangs of feral youths, shootings, stabbings and attacks on random people, and the great British public have had enough. It's clear that the Police don't have the resources to cope, the law is an ass in that it protects the perpetrators' rights more than those of the victims and defenders of the law. People are reluctant to step in and say "No, that's wrong" and defend themselves and others, for fear of being criminalised themselves, and it has to stop. If the authorities can't or won't deal with it, then they can hardly blame civilians for rising up and taking direct action.
It's long overdue that the politicians should stop 'discussing' the problems and actually do something about it. Strengthen the law in favour of the victim, and reduce the rights of criminals. As previously stated in this blog - if you put yourself outside of the law, you should not expect to be protected by it. Live by the sword, die by the sword (metaphorically speaking, of course).

29 August 2007

Headline of the week

I just love The Register, particularly because of headlines like this : Love triangle kidnap pampernaut preps wingnut defence and the article's closing paragraph:

"It was reported recently that Nowak was "shocked and overwhelmed" at the media coverage of the case. Fair enough, we say. There's clearly nothing particularly interesting about a nappy-clad, knife and hammer-toting, trenchcoated astronaut mother of three plotting to mace and kidnap a younger rival for the affections of a space shuttle pilot."

23 August 2007

Tell me again that only poofs wear leathers?

Thanks to Acebikerchick for spotting this one:

Redneck crime

Thanks to Bassman for this one; it made I larf:

Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.

22 August 2007

Now I'm really annoyed

Why is it that the Police have plenty of resources to arrest and prosecute a little boy for throwing a cocktail sausage, yet they don't have the resources to sort out the knife-wielding gangs on our streets?

Some cynics might say that the Police are too afraid to tackle the real criminals, and that the little kids are an easy way of bumping up the figures.

At least the Judge has had the sense to ask the CPS to go away and consider whether or not this case really has merit. Personally, I wouldn't have bothered sending them away. I'd have just dismissed the case and fined the prosecution for bringing such a frivolous and expensive case when really, the Police should never have been called in the first place. Indeed, the Police should have answered the call with "He threw what? A cocktail sausage? Sod off, we're too busy dealing with criminals".

Dear, oh dear

My boss has been traumatised. We were out in the town centre at lunchtime and as we walked back to the office, the woman with a brain the size of a grape was sat on the step outside the drop-in centre.

She's not exactly slim, this woman. She was wearing an above-the-knee skirt, and had her legs apart, with her belly dangling down to her, erm, well, I'm not sure what it was, but I think it winked. "Oh dear lord!" I exclaimed, and the boss turned to look and then said "Oh hell, I really could have done without seeing that, especially just after lunch". He then shuddered and went into his office.

It's time to start fighting back

I listened to a report at 08:10 on the Today programme this morning, about girls in gangs, and the more I listened to it, the more I became angry. The girls interviewed were violent little morons who believe that you have to hurt people and terrify them to make them respect you. That's not respect, that's fear. If you force people to fear you, believe me, they probably won't have any respect for you at all. In fact they'll hate you and when you get caught, they'll be the first people to celebrate.

Since when did people let their children get away with being nasty little shits? I'll tell you when - it's since the nanny do-gooders said "you can't tell children off, it's bad for their self-esteem" and "you can't give them a slap because that's assault".


Remember the old saying "spare the rod and spoil the child"? Well it was right. We now have a society in which kids can go around threatening, injuring and even killing people pretty much with impunity because people didn't want to hurt their feelings.

Well it's about time that society started fighting back. It's about time that the Government announced that if someone breaks into your home, you have the right to beat seven shades of shit out of them, with no come-back, because they shouldn't have been there in the first place. If someone attacks you, the you can fight back with whatever force you want, never mind this 'reasonable force' rubbish - your idea of reasonable might not be the same as the judge.

For many years, Smurf has been saying that the term 'outlaw' should be reintroduced in its original meaning, and he's right. If you put yourself outside the law, then you cannot expect to be protected by it. If little Billy goes and thumps someone and the victim thumps him back, then when little Billy goes running to mummy saying that the nasty person hit him, she should say 'Tough shit. You started it, you face the consequences.'

I remember an incident years ago, where a kid was being a little shit and one of his neighbours told him off. The kid was so annoyed that someone had dared to tell him off, that he went to tell mummy that the man had hit him. Mummy rang the Police, who turned up at the man's house to investigate. The man explained what had happened, and the Police Officer said that the kid had gone home with a red mark on his face. It was at that point that the other kids in the street came forward and told the Police Officer that the first kid had deliberately banged his head on the wall of the house before running in to cry to mummy. The copper then went back to mummy and read her and the kid the riot act. Sadly, the kid still grew up to be a shit, and has served time in jail since, so it seems that he didn't learn anything from the incident.

When I was a kid, if a neighbour told me off, I wouldn't dare tell my parents, because I knew I'd get another telling off and probably a smacked arse into the bargain. Some parents these days don't bother to discipline their kids at all, and then when the kid is arrested they blame it on a bad influence from other kids, and said "he's a good lad really". BULLSHIT take responsibility. OK, I accept that sometimes, parents do try their hardest and can't get through to the kids, no matter what they do, but the majority of these little shits have become so through a lack of basic discipline at an early age.

Last week, two friends of mine succeeded in apprehending two youths who had stolen goods from a local shop. Unfortunately, for them, a huge gang of youths then set upon them and threatened to stab them if they didn't release the thieves. My friends were hurt in that incident (but fortunately not stabbed) but the two youths did get arrested. This sort of thing is all too common and it needs to be stopped. It won't be stopped by talking nicely to the perpetrators, but it will be stopped if more severe consequences are introduced, like giving them a damn good kicking without fear of prosecution. My friends were very brave and I'm really proud of them for standing up to the youths and standing up for the law, and I'm glad that they're OK (relatively). Perhaps if more people followed their example rather than just standing by and watching, we can crack this crime.

21 August 2007

and another observation

If you put a hoodie on backwards, it doesn't half go dark...


Note to self: don't drink red wine immediately after brushing teeth.

19 August 2007

Commiserations, it's a girl!

This news story has really angered me. Do these stupid people not realise that it's WOMEN who give birth to babies? Obvious, isn't it? So why do they kill off female babies, when in reality the only long-term consequence is that there will be fewer women, which means fewer babies in the future.

If population decrease is what they are trying to achieve, there are far more humane ways of doing it, e.g. contraception. Believe me, contraception is better than murder.

Once again, a patricarchal culture has shown how fecking stupid some men really are. I'm sick of hearing about the oppression of women in other countries, because all that this sort of oppression means is that the men are insecure and scared of how good women really can be if left to blossom.

So, as a result of male insecurity, babies are killed or given away, foetuses are aborted and thousands of women have their lives ripped apart because the men want male babies and not female ones.

Hang on, I've got a better idea. Any man who believes that a female child should not be allowed to live, should be castrated, thus removing his poisonous thought from the gene pool.

08 August 2007

Yuck! but what a good idea!

Fed up of overpriced food in the supermarkets? Why not wait until the shop closes and then get the food out of the dustbins?

OK, I know that sounds really gross, but people can and do actually do this all the time. Supermarkets chuck out a phenomenal amount of perfectly good food, all thanks to legislation to protect stupid people. I spent years trying to persude someone that 'Best Before' doesn't mean 'Posionous On'. It used to drive me mad. When I was short of cash, I'd go through the 'reduced' section at the supermarket and buy the stuff where it was on it's last date. I'd take it home, put it in the fridge and ten minutes later, my boyfriend would throw it in the dustbin saying "You can't eat that, it's gone 'foisty'. What he actually meant was "I'm too stupid to be able to tell whether that food has gone off or not, so I'm throwing it away."

OK, I'll start with the dairy. Come on, I mean why does live yoghurt have a 'best before' date on it? Think about it. If it ain't covered in fur, it's OK to eat. Heat it up a bit and add more milk and it'll make more yoghurt for you. People seem not to know how foods are made these days. Same with cheese. If it hasn't gone hard, and doesn't have mould on it, then eat it. If it does have mould on it, cut it off and then eat the bit that isn't mouldy (unless it's a blue cheese, in which case it's supposed to have the mould in it). Milk: great stuff. If it smells funny and has gone lumpy, chuck it away. If it hasn't, then drink it, regardless of what the date on the bottle says.

Then there's stuff like fruit and vegetagbles. For heaven's sake, if you're too thick to notice when your fruit and veg have gone off, you really need help.

I digress. So, back to our Freegans. Would you go dumpster diving for food? Well, I'm not sure I would, unless I was desperate. I'd take packaged stuff, but I'm not so sure about loose stuff - you don't know what it's been in contact with.

This does open up a wider argument though. Why is so much perfectly good food thrown away? If they can't sell it in time, why do they over-stock? Why don't they drastically reduce the price to sell it off? Perhaps in this consumer-driven age, the punter is given too much choice. Do we really need 27 different brands and 150 different flavours of tomato sauce to put on our pasta? I think not, despite what people might say about competition and valid business. The world has gone mad.

03 August 2007

Negative side-effect of the smoking ban

I did think that the ban on smoking in enclosed public and workplaces was wonderful. However, part of me is starting to change my mind. Why? Because of the drop-in centre opposite my office. When they could smoke indoors, it was dirty, smoggy and smelly. Now, they congregate outside to indulge their addiction. However, they don't just have their fag and then go back inside, oh no, they stand outside all day shouting at each other.

There's one woman in particular who has got to be the most boring person on the planet, and she shouts to everyone rather than just talking to them. "What did you have for tea? Oh, I had pie too. What type of pie? Oh that's nice. Are you having pie again this week? I might, but then I might not."

All of this is at full volume, and I can hear every damn word, even with the window shut. The problem is, it's so hot at the moment, I have to have the window open, so when I'm on the phone to a client, they keep pausing and saying "sorry, I thought someone was talking to you in the office". No, it's just the noisy bitch from across the main road who doesn't have a volume switch.

Right now, I have this almost irrepressible urge to stick my head out of the window and yell "Shut the fuck up you boring imbecile". Unfortunately, I don't think it'd do me any favours. My assistant suggested buying a super-soaker and squirting her every time she got too loud, to see if it would train her, like you train a dog not to piddle in your flowerbed. I'm seriously considering it. And no, Spike, before you suggest it, I am not going to borrow your air rifle, tempting as that is.