31 January 2006

Wounded Womble update

OK, the shoulder doesn't hurt any more and the lump on my leg has gone down somewhat. Still no sign of a bruise on the lump though, which is really pissing me off now. I mean, I haven't even got a proper war-wound to show off for all the pain it caused me; life's just not fair, is it? Got bruises everywhere else, like.

The new indicator lens is £6.31. I can live with that.

I wonder if I can get away with sulking for another 24 hours?

Spirit of Man

Bob Catley's new solo album, Spirit of Man, is bloody brillant! You can hear sound clips on Bob's website.

It's very difficult to pick favourite tracks when you like them all. However, my current faves, after the fourth play of the album are Beautiful Mind, Blinded by a Lie, Moment of Truth, Last Snows of Winter, The Fire Within (for the guitars), Lost to the Night oh bollocks, I give up! I might as well just list the whole bloody album. Just go and buy it.

I think Beautiful Mind is my top fave of the mo.

(All opinions subject to revision following further listenings.)

Coastal Bike Tour 2007

Do something useful today. Visit the Coastal Bike Tour website and give the lads some support. They're raising funds for Cancer Research UK. You can donate some dosh here.

29 January 2006

Vet on the run!

My pal Eva is doing a sponsored half-marathon in aid of Cats' Protection.

Do your good turn for the day and sponsor her - go to Just Giving and bung her a few quid :o)

Very Pissed Off

At 8.30 this morning, I lost the bike on a patch of ice at the end of my street. So there I was, lying in the middle of the road, pinned down by about 34 stone (or 480 lbs for the foreigners) of Kawasaki, right leg trapped under the exhaust pipe, when this car comes up behind me, and slowly drives round me and then fuxoff! Bastards!

Anyway, I lay there for a minute thinking 'oh bugger'. Then I realised that I was in danger of some myopic twat running over my head, so I managed to use my left leg to lever the bike up enough to get my right leg out and I sat in the road, trying to decide whether or not I'd bust me ankle. I decided I hadn't and stood up. Feck! It hurt. A lot.

Anyway, I tried to pick the bike up and discovered that I'd wrenched me shoulder too :( That and the full petrol tank meant I couldn't shift it, so I stood there and sulked until a nice young man came along and helped me to pick it up and push it to the side of the road. I stood there and sulked for another few mins and then thought "Womble, pull yerself together, no point in just standing here like a berk". So I picked up all the bits of broken indicator and checked over the rest of the bike. Only minor scuffing, thank God. The exhaust and bodywork was well protected by my leg.

Anyway, I got back on it, started it and it backfired like a good 'un and I rode it home, shoved it in the garage and went in to lick my wounds (metaphorically speaking).

I've got a huge lump on my right leg and it aches like hell, and my shoulder is pretty sore too. I've got loads of bruises all over my legs, but I'm not sure which of those are from Muay Thai training yesterday. The lump hasn't bruised ... yet. I think it'll be a cracker.

Anyway, I've been sulking all day and I could really do with a bottle of wine, so I think a trip to the co-op might be in order. Chocolate sounds good too.

Please feel free to give me loads of attention and send lots of sympathy. I'll milk it for all it's worth.

26 January 2006

Womble loses the plot

This morning, I made some toast. Then, I tried to butter my plate. I suppose it might have been better to take the toast out of the toaster first :o(

23 January 2006

Seeing the light?

Last week, I worked really hard to clear my backlog of work. Today, I actually caught sight of my desk for a short while. It's beech, you know.

I think I'm finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. Please don't let it be some bastard with a torch bringing me more work.


The Wikipedia is a dangerous and addictive place. Once there, I have great difficulty in getting out. When I was a kid, I'd go to look up a word in the dictionary and, whilst there, another word would catch my eye and I'd read that definition too. So imagine what the Wikipedia is doing to me!

Having bought a Marillion DVD this weekend, I decided to look up Marillion in the Wikipedia. From there, I followed links to Fish and Prog Rock. From Fish, I was led to the artist Mark Wilkinson and then on to surrealism. From Prog Rock, I was led to King Crimson, IQ, Mostly Autumn, a list of prog musicians, a list of pop music based on existing classical music, prog metal, and a list of songs over 15 mins in length.

See what I mean. Once you're in, you're there for ages.

Joke of the Day

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

16 January 2006

One Green Bottle...

OK, there's just one half-bottle of red left. Give me an hour and there's be no green bottles sitting on Womble's desk.


What a bloody good party we had on Saturday night. I know it was good cos I'm still grinning from ear to ear :o)

If you want to see the evidence, have a look at Biker Lifestyle, cos there's some damn good pics on there. I know, cos I took some of them :o)

'Hello' to everyone I met there, and 'sorry' to those I didn't get a chance to talk to, I'm sure our paths will cross again in the near future.

Big thanks to JohnnyFP & Mia for organising it all - top do :o)

When are we doing it again?

09 January 2006

Get Back to Work!

OK, so how, exactly, is George Galloway representing his Constituents of Bethnal Green & Bow whilst he's incacerated in the Big Brother house? See how much he 'Respects' them?

Bring back Oona King!


Thanks to Martin for telling me about this one :o)

Through the Keyhole?

Sometimes, in my line of work, I have to borrow paperwork from clients and photocopy it for my file. The state of the paperwork often gives me a little insight into the type of person they might be.

For example, this morning, I have copied a bundle of papers which I can only describe as being foul. Some of the papers are torn and covered in mud. Some are stained with something which I am hoping is tomato soup. There are coffee stains, some suspicious yellow stains, dog hairs and something which might be breakfast cereal. The whole bundle absolutely stinks of a combination of stale fag smoke and wet dog.

I've already washed my hands three times and I'm still cringing. I feel quite sick.

08 January 2006

6 green bottles

sitting on Womble's desk, 6 green bottles sitting on Womble's desk, and if two green bottles should accidently get drunk, there'll be 4 green bottles, sitting on Womble's desk.


07 January 2006

7 green bottles

sitting on Womble's desk, 7 green bottles sitting on Womble's desk, and if one green bottle should accidently get drunk, there'll be 6 green bottles, sitting on Womble's desk.


Taking Stock

I thought it was about time I tidied my home office, and I have taken stock of the items I like to keep on my desk. I have 8 half bottles of red wine and one wine glass, two bottles of fizzy water, a tub of grated parmesan and a pepper mill.

Now what does this say about me? Actually, it says that I eat most of my meals sat in front of my PC. How sad is that? I really need to get a life.

04 January 2006

Back to earth

Blimey, 10 days without blogging, you must be getting withdrawal symptoms. I've been a very busy Womble over the 'holiday period', and not had much Internet access. So here's a pracy of what I've been up to:

I had three wonderful days with Bungle, Zippy, Lurch and Mandy in Oxford, and managed to get over to see Spike for an hour on Christmas day. The poor bugger had to work all day, so I took him a turkey butty and a mince pie.

On Boxing Day, Lurch and I went into the centre of Oxford to have a look at the bikes from the Vintage Motorcycle Club and I saw the most gorgeous Beezer I have ever seen. I did manage to resist the urge to throw my leg over it, and risk getting thumped, but I did linger there for quite some time, drooling at it.

We then went off to a pub in Fyfield and paid an extortionate £6 for a sandwich before having a brief look at the classic trial at Bessels Leigh Copse.

On my way home from Oxford, I called in to see Hairy Stores at Milton Keynes for a brew or three and then battled my way up the M1 and M6 in really shitty conditions. Some stupid git tried to kill me on the M6 at Birmingham and the visibility was crap because my visor was covered in mud spray and so was my headlamp which, by the time I got home, was showing very little light at all cos of the baked-on shite. I was bloody frozen and jumped in the shower to thaw out. When the bloody did eventually return to my feet, it was agonisingly itchy and I was getting a bit worried about it.

The following day, I was chatting to Cooldrums on't'internet and saying how bored I was, and he suggested I spend New Year up in Scotland with him and his family, so I thought 'stuff it', and did just that.

I spent four days up there in some of the most beautiful countryside I have ever seen. Cooldrums really is a lucky bastard having this sort of landscape right on his doorstep. If I'd stayed sober long enough, I could have seen more of it.

You probably can't even see it, but there's actually a buzzard in the middle of this pic. Every time I managed to get a good shot lined up, the bloody thing flew off to a different tree.

Still, it was nice to see. I had planned to take my good camera up there, but didn't bother cos the weather forecast was crap and I didn't think I'd get any good pics. I'm regretting that decision now, cos the telephoto lens would have been perfect. Ho hum, we live and learn.

I didn't really want to come home from Scotland, cos I was enjoying it so much, although the blow of the impending return to work was softened somewhat by a coffee with the Phantom Hammond Wrangler.

I got in work at 08.20 today and was faced with a huge pile of paperwork on my desk, which I never did manage to get to the bottom of. My whole office is a tip and I have no idea where to start on it. The shredder was my favourite piece of office equipment today.