Through the Keyhole?

Sometimes, in my line of work, I have to borrow paperwork from clients and photocopy it for my file. The state of the paperwork often gives me a little insight into the type of person they might be.

For example, this morning, I have copied a bundle of papers which I can only describe as being foul. Some of the papers are torn and covered in mud. Some are stained with something which I am hoping is tomato soup. There are coffee stains, some suspicious yellow stains, dog hairs and something which might be breakfast cereal. The whole bundle absolutely stinks of a combination of stale fag smoke and wet dog.

I've already washed my hands three times and I'm still cringing. I feel quite sick.