29 March 2007

Bloody CD cases

Why is it that whenever I order CDs by mail order, the cases are knackered, even when they're packaged in loads of cardboard and bubblewrap? It's always the little round bit that holds the CD in place. You open the case and are showered by lots of little bits of plastic as the CD drops to the floor. Grrrr.

Can't they come up with a better design than that?

22 March 2007

A First for Oz!

Congratulations on getting a 1st in your BSc degree!

So, about that assignment-writing service ... ;o)

21 March 2007

and now it's official

Remember that BBC Watchdog survey I mentioned? Well the results were published tonight and guess which company came out as the worst broadband provider? Yes, it was Orange who had a massive 12,313 people who agreed that they were shite. Quelle surprise! NOT!

What really shocked me though, was the bloke from Orange who was still insisting that they were a wonderful company and just misunderstood. Piss off. You're crap. The physical service is crap, the customer service is crap and your accounts department is crap. Give Smurf his money back, you lame ducks.

Orange are still shite

Smurf has had a letter. Apparently they're very sorry for screwing everything up and, as a gesture of goodwill, they're going to write off the £27.99 that THEY owe HIM.

How nice of them

Flashbacks of the 60s?

Hmmm, I think the kids' TV programme-makers have been at the acid again.

Eh? Pardon?

Turn the telly down dear, the adverts are too loud again.

But not for much longer. Despite many of the TV companies denying that the adverts were at a considerably higher volume that the programmes they interrupted, the Advertising Standards Authority received large numbers of complaints. The telly companies appeared to be working on the theory that when the adverts come on, that's when people go and make a brew or go to the loo, so the adverts needed to be louder in order to reach the person in the kitchen. However, what they failed to realise is that most people just hit the mute button to avoid being deafened.

As a result of all the complaints, the Broadcast Committee of Advertising Practice has told them to turn it down, and the International Telecommunications Union has set some guidelines for 'subjective loudness'.


Now, can they do something about the shouty men in the double glazing adverts (like Cannon & Ball, for a start). It's not good advertising, it's just annoying. I turn those off too, so sorry Mr. Advertiser, I have no intention of buying products from people with irritating adverts.

20 March 2007

For Summer...

Not seen you around for ages hon, hope you're OK. I may be wrong, but I suspect I know why you've gone quiet, but don't worry, Uncle Yoda has it all under control. Come back, please? We miss you!

09 March 2007

Castaway 2007

Well, what a disappointment. Castaway 2000 was a superb programme - a bunch of people thrown together on the island of Taransay and left to build a community. The whole point of the experiment was to see how they would deal with the isolation.

Castaway 2007 is totally different. OK, so it's in New Zealand and not in the Hebrides, but what is all the crap with a presenter? You don't have a presenter when you're castaway! And the presenter is an irritating cunt too. What's all the shit with setting tasks and voting people off the island? They've turned it into little better than a cheap gameshow. Oh BBC, what have you done? I'm not sure I'll bother to watch any more, except maybe to see if Ken gives Jonathan the thump he deserves. Don't get me wrong, Jonathan is a very practical man who seems to understand what needs to be done to survive; he's a do-er but he's got a right arrogant demeanour too. He needs to stop trying to assert himself and lead by example.

Gemma seemed a bit dim, and couldn't understand why losing their fresh water was a problem, asking "well can't we just refill it?" Oh yeah, of course! Why didn't anyone else think of that? Where from, you daft bint?

None of them seemed to have a clue about being economical when lighting fires - using up their one match almost straight away. They could have split the match into four, for a start. They could have used a friction method, blimey, even I can do that! At least they had the sense to light a candle to get the oven going. One bloke appeared to have a firesteel but didn't seem to know what to do with it.

Grrrr. I'm too tired to rant any more. Perhaps I should watch the next instalment - it would be a shame to waste such a valuable source of rant-fodder.

06 March 2007

No more 'Dancing on Ice'?


ITV has stopped all its premium-rate interactive phone lines for competitions and voting on stupid TV programmes like Dancing on Ice, which are designed to generate revenue rather than to entertain. Will this be the death of the 'I'm a Faded Celebrity, Get Me Back on TV' genre?

I truly hope so.