Here are some of the winners:
- Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
- Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
- Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
- Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
- Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
- Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
- Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
- Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
- Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, yeah?
- Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
- Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
- Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
- Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
- Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
- Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
- Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
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