Service with a smile

How long does it take to print 2 pages in colour? 23 minutes, if you go to Staples.

First of all, they couldn't let me in, because only one member of staff had turned up. When some others finally turned up, they let me in and I went over to their 'copy centre'.

I explained to the woman that I had a pdf document I wanted printing and told her I'd got it on my flash drive and also on an SD card. She scowled and muttered that she didn't have a card reader, and that their computer was so old it probably wouldn't accept my flash drive.

Anyway, she tried the flash drive and announced that because my computer at home was a high-speed one (actually it's not), it had saved it in a different format and she couldn't open it. (Can you smell bullshit?). So I said "well try the SD card then". She said "I haven't got a card reader" - so I said "well what's that then?" - pointing to the card reader. She examined it closely and said "oh, they must have put it there yesterday, I've never seen it before." (I'm sure I can smell bullshit).

Anyway, she called up the document, send it to print and the printer jammed. She stared at it blankly for a few minutes and then went to the tannoy and asked for someone to help her. The woman who came said "yes, paper tray 1 is broken, you have to use tray 5 - it's written on it here, you'll have to cancel the job send it again to tray 5." So she sent it again - to the same tray and had to go through the unjamming procedure all over again. Eventually she managed to print it to the right tray and then she picked up the copies and walked off, without so much as a backwards glance. Eventually, I followed her to the till, paid and made a hasty exit.

So much for a friendly and efficient service then.