My bank has cash machines outside, which you can use to pay in cash and cheques. However, when I tried to pay in a cheque this, the machine told me to 'insert envelope'. As I didn't have an envelope, I had to cancel the transaction and the machine beeped at me.
I went in the bank and picked up a Quick Deposit envelope, marked 'For use in Quick Deposit Unit only'. So I went to the QDU and found it blanked off. Anyway, I put my cheque in the envelope and saw that it said "please fill in a giro-slip and place in envelope". So I looked for a giro-slip, but there were none to be found.
I went to the Customer Service Desk and waited in a queue. Eventually the woman said "we don't put the giro-slips out now, because kids scribble on them". So I asked why the cash machine no longer gives out envelopes, and she said "oh, it's the new system". So I said "why is the Quick Deposit Unit blanked off?". Apparently people were using it as a litter bin.
So, for a Quick Deposit, you have to go in the branch and get an envelope. Queue up at Customer Services to get a giro-slip. Fill it in, put everything in the envelope and then go outside again and put it in the machine.
It would have been quicker to join the queue for the counter service and hand the damn thing to a cashier.
Customer Service? Ha!