Arse!

There's a tramp in my town, who wanders around with his arse hanging out of his trousers. In fact he's frequently seen with something else hanging out of his trousers too, and he has been arrested for it at least twice to my knowledge. Thing is, you see, he has a mental illness and there's not a lot people can do about it. I actually feel sorry for him, cos he doesn't appear to have much of a life. I wonder if he knows that he's actually a fashion icon?

It has come to my attention that teenagers the world over are copying this bloke, walking around with their trousers sagging around their arses, and their grotty underwear showing. Every time I see one of these moronic people, usually spotty teenagers, I have the urge to grab their trousers by the waistband and jump them into their trousers, like mothers do with toddlers. For Pete's sake, learn to dress yourselves. I don't want to have to see your scruffy underpants and saggy arse jeans, you remind me of Claude Greengrass! Failing that, don't blame me if you get given wedgies on a regular basis; you're too much of a temptation.

Anyway, Politicians in the US state of Virginia are taking a stand against these scruffy oiks who wander around showing their grundies in public. I'm glad someone's finally doing something about this because it drives me mad.

Democrat Lionell Spruill is obviously missing the point though. He says it is a law that targets black people. Don't be bloody stupid man! Everyone I've seen dressed in this way has been white, and usually pretty ugly. Maybe they do it to take attention away from their poxy boat races.