Ever wondered why there's never a copper around when you want one?

I know exactly why. This morning, I went to an inquest at the local Coroner's court. There were eight Police Officers in attendance. That's OK, they needed to be there.

However, the entire morning was wasted because a key witness couldn't be arsed to turn up (even though they'd said they would), so the eight coppers were sitting around for four hours, waiting for this dickhead to put in an appearance. In the meantime, several more Police Officers had to be sent off to try to find the aforementioned dickhead, only to discover he'd gone to the Lake District instead.

The hearing has had to be adjourned to another day now, so those eight coppers will have to turn up again and probably waste another morning. The Coroner was less than impressed too. I think that the missing witness is gonna get a serious bollocking over this.

So, don't blame the coppers, blame the idiots who think that their absence won't be noticed. As my old school teachers used to say, it's not just your time you're wasting, it's my time, and all these other peoples' time. Thanks a bloody bunch.