Scotland - part 2

We arrived in Edinburgh on Thursday evening and checked into a rather excellent B&B, and then caught the bus into the city centre. We decided to eat at Bella Italia and then we went on a ghost tour, which was bloody brilliant. Euan, the guide was very impressive, but he wouldn't let me nick his lovely black cloak with the red satin lining. I think it would have been perfect for me.

After the tour, we went into The Tass and listened to a lass called Helen Reeves singing a load of Nancy Griffiths stuff. She's a damn fine singer and definitely worth a listen.

When we got back to the B&B, I once again fell into bed and into a coma until the alarm woke me at something past seven.

It was a lovely day on Friday, and we got to the castle just after ten o'clock. We wandered round for a few hours and waited for the one o'clock gun. Dave took a video of it, which is dead funny cos he leapt about 3 feet into the air when it went off, so he didn't actually capture the moment. However, the super-cool Womble managed to get a photo with no camera shake at all :o)

After we'd witnessed the firing of the gun, we headed off down the Royal Mile and into the Camera Obscura. Now this is an attraction I really think is worth a visit. There's lots of things to play with, including those irritating Magic Eye pictures that I only seem to be able to work out when I'm pissed as a fart. The camera obscura itself is, unsurprisingly, at the top of the building, and you can also go outside onto the roof and have a great view of the city.

After the camera obscura, we continued down the Royal Mile and called in at Mary King's Close. This was an extremely interesting tour of the closes hidden underneath the Royal Mile, where people lived, worked and died.

By this time, it was getting late and we decided to go in search of food. After we'd eaten we headed into Jongleurs for the evening and watched three average comedians and a superb compere (Micky Hutton). I noted that Brendan Riley and Paul B Edwards will be performing there at the end of March, so I might take another trip up there, cos those two are most definitely worth watching.

On Saturday morning, we set off early into Edinburgh and straight into the Museum of Childhood. I found it very interesting, but most of the stuff was more than 30 years old, so there wasn't that much from my own childhood there (me being just a mere young thing).

From there, we went down to Dynamic Earth and spent a few hours learning about how the earth got from the primordial sludge to how it is today. My favourite bit of the tour was the 'Shaping the Earth' video presentation. We sat on the floor and the three huge video screens in front of us showed us a fantastic flight over glaciers. It was so amazing that it almost felt like we were actually flying above the ground, to the point where we all grabbed the floor when the 'plane' tilted. It's a very interesting place and well worth a visit, although I rushed the end of the tour because I was desperate for the bog :o( Given that the end of the tour is in the 'rain forest', it only made my need more urgent! Even the gift shop is ace.

Next to Dynamic Earth is the new Holyrood Parliament building. I have to say that this is probably the most ugly building I have ever seen. It's got loads bits stuck on to the outside which are really unattractive and don't appear to serve any purpose. And what's going on with all the bamboo pole things? I can just imagine those falling off and twatting someone on the bonce.

We headed back up the Royal Mile and off towards the Edinburgh Dungeon. We got there just as it started pissing down with rain and the queue was really long. The sign said there was at least a 30 minute wait, so we thought 'stuff this for a lark' and went round the corner to the Tourist Information Office and pre-booked tickets. We then went off into the shopping centre where we had a Thai takeaway, which was jolly nice, and then back to the dungeon, where the queue was even longer. As we now had pre-booked tickets, we were shown straight to the front of the queue :o) The tour of the dungeon was really entertaining, starting off in a medieval court room, where two people were picked upon to be the criminals - a lass who was accused of being a witch, and poor old Dave who pleaded guilty to cross-dressing and was permitted to choose between hanging or exile in Wales. He chose hanging. We were then led into a maze of mirrors which was great fun watching other people walk into them. The maze led to a torturer's chamber where we were shown a few lovely devices for upsetting people. From there, we went into a section about the ressurection men, and then into the anatomy theatre. From the anatomy theatre, we were led to the vampire slayer, where we all took the pledge 'in the name of Buffy' and sent along our way in a boat to the home of Sawney Bean and his family of cannibals. We were then 'rescued' by a MacDonald who led us into his croft where we were 'attacked' by the Campbells and then we fled the croft and the tour ended. We spent most of the tour killing ourselves laughing. It was a really great tour and is another attraction I'd recommend.

For our final evening in Edinburgh, we went to a tapas bar and ate ourselves silly and drank copious amounts of wine, before heading back to the B&B for an early-ish night. Well, early compared to the other nights anyway.

On Sunday morning, we left Edinburgh and headed back in the general direction of Kinross, calling in at the Falkirk Wheel, the worlds only rotating boat lift, on the way. I'd tried to visit the wheel before, at New Year, but it was closed, and it was so foggy that I couldn't see it, even though I was only about 100 yards away. This time, although it was a bit drizzly, it was open and we got ourselves on the boat trip. The guide gave us some very interesting information on why the wheel was built, how the location was chosen and also some technical information.

I've always been an engineering enthusiast; I find mechanical devices far more beautiful than paintings and trinkets. The Falkirk Wheel is an extremely impressive and beautiful piece of machinery and, for me at least, it was a wonder to behold. When we were on the boat, using the wheel itself, it was even more impressive. It was so smooth and quiet that if I shut my eyes, I wouldn't have believed it was moving at all, let alone lifting us 25 metres between the Union Canal and the Forth & Clyde Canal.

We then headed back off to Dave's place where we got fed and then I packed the bike and set off for the incredibly boring journey home. It rained all the way home, but I wasn't too tired when I arrived back in Lancashire at 9.20pm, just in time to get online and chat to my pals :o)