Sponsor Julie Hilling to raise money for Bolton Hospice!

My friend Julie will be taking part in Bolton Hospice's Midnight Memories walk on Saturday, to raise some much needed money to help to improve the quality of life for patients and the people close to them who face the problems associated with life-threatening disease.

It costs approximately £1.2m each year to provide the service and almost all of this has to be raised by the Hospice and its supporters, so even if you donate only £1.00, every little bit will help to keep this valuable service running.

Please, give 'em some money!

and there we have it

Only seconds after saying I had nothing to rant about, there was a knock at my door. Now, as it happens, I was sitting in the smallest room, reading. So, I broke off from my task to go & answer the door, only to find it was a young man with a clipboard, wanting to talk to the 'homeowner' but not selling anything. Honest. He was very polite, though, when I said "no thanks".

I tend to work on the theory that if someone comes to my door trying to sell me something I didn't know I wanted, then I probably don't want it.
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Mobile ranting

Now I've discovered how to rant from my mobile, I might get round to a few more posts.

So, what can I whinge about today? Well, apart from the builders repairing the roof at my office making enough noise to wake the dead, not a lot has happened, and I can't really blame the builders - there's a job to be done.

Ho hum. I wonder if I have time for a snooze before venturing off to the wilds of Blackrod?
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You know you're really tired when...

you throw your socks in the wardrobe & your shoes in the laundry basket.
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Possibly the most annoying advert ever

These kids really scare me.

What this advert says is "You've got grey hair so you've no chance of pulling a bird; you're a loser, with patronising brats".

Words cannot describe just how much I hate this advert.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z03SEPGC_EA

The Devil's Doctor

Thursday night saw the Pikey and me, Punzie, Og, Rook, Ali & Shoeless all traipsing out to Edge Hill University to see The Devil's Doctor - a play about the life of Paracelsus. It was particularly interesting for me, because I studied the History of Medcine for my GCSE History and it has always held a fascination for me.

I don't get to go to the theatre often, but I was glad that I saw this - it was one of the funniest plays I have ever seen. The actors were superb and interacted with the audience, and I was particularly impressed with the improvisation after a prop 'malfunction'. There was one point where I was laughing so much that I had difficulty in breathing. I'm sure I recognise the bloke playing Paracelsus, but I never did find out his name.

Oh yeah, and Og nicked one of their pens, after purchasing a stolen staff for 50p. He did whinge that he never got his 50p back, but as we pointed out, "buyer beware!". (Don't worry, he wasn't really upset ;o) )

It's on again next Saturday at Bury College, and I can highly recommend it. Not for little kids though.

Snow!

OK, so we've had a little snow. On 2 December 2008, our town was brought to a standstill because, although the council claims that all the roads were gritted, there was another snowfall after it had been done. It took me over an hour to travel quarter of a mile, before I gave up trying to get to work, and went home instead. To be honest, it's a good job that I did, because I came down with the flu (yes, not just a cold), and I couldn't walk properly for about 3 days.

Anyway, earlier this week, a few schools were closed here because of the snow which, at my estimation was about 3 inches deep. Apparently it was out of concern for the safety of the children. When I was a kid, the only time the school was closed in winter was when the central heating packed in. We had to walk the mile to school through snow, hail & wind and just get on with it. I remember on some days, the teachers even let us stay indoors at dinnertime, if we wanted to. So when did we become so soft? I guess it was when lawyers started telling people to sue others for their own stupidity/incompetence.

This morning, on the way into work, it was snowing lightly, but there were far fewer cars than usual. I guess people are either taking days off, or working from home. It made my journey nice and quick anyway.

So much to rant about, so little time

Believe me, I've not stopped ranting, it's just that I've not had a moment to spare recently. However, I feel a few minor rants coming on today...

Merry Christmas everyone

Having spent the last two months telling everyone "Buggeroff, it's not Christmas yet", I can now officially announce that it is, at last, Christmas.

You all have my permission to begin partying!

The Five Minute Nativity

Tracing the nativity back to its roots, the wonderful Professor Pierre O'Bollox has captured the essence of the story beautifully.

However, if you happen to be a God-botherer who is easily offended, don't bother going and reading it, you won't like it.

Click here to read the story

A matter of dedication

If Alistair Carmichael, MP for Orkney and Shetland, can manage to go back to his constituency almost every week, why can't Ruth Kelly be arsed to visit her Bolton constituency as often?

Mr. Carmichael has a 1,400 mile round trip each week by train, plane and sometimes by boat, whilst Ms. Kelly would only have to do 440.

I think it has something to do with dedication to your job, and an interest in the people you serve. Mr. Carmichael's constituents should be proud of him. He has the longest and most difficult journey home, but still manages it. Perhaps it's because he actually lives in Orkney, and not in London.

This BBC article is a very interesting insight into Mr. Carmichael's dedication to job. Read it and learn.

Are you missing out on religion?

Not for those who have had a sense of humour bypass.

Edith Appleton's diary

Edith Appleton was my friend Dick Robinson's Great Aunt. Born in 1877, the tenth of thirteen children, she went on to spend many years nursing, including five years service during WWI when she served on the front lines in France.

Edith's diary is a fascinating insight into the daily lives of the medical staff on the front lines, and how bravely these men and women dealt with the horrors of war.

There are some parts which made me smile, like Edith's joy at having a bath - something we all take for granted these days:

"I don’t fancy bathing in company, but as I have not sat in water deeper than 1 inch since last year the temptation to go is great."

"Up to our necks in water - glorious! The first time for months and months! A dear old nun came trotting in when I was in my bath, felt to see the water was right heat, thought the bath was too full and pulled the plug by a patent in the floor, I was sitting on the hole where the water runs away and was sucked hard into it!"

Edith was awarded several medals for her service, and photographs of them can be found on the website. There's a couple of medals that Dick cannot identify, so if anyone can help, please let him know - his contact details are on the site.

I am very pleased that Dick has published these diaries and I look forward to listening to him talk about them on Radio 4 this afternoon.

When 'voluntary' really means 'compulsory'

Some pubs in Aberdeen are introducing drug testing as a condition of entry. I don't have time right now to go into just how wrong I think that is (machine faults, prescription drugs, over-zealous Police etc.) but what has really angered me is this statement:

"The test is voluntary, but customers will be refused entry if they do not take part."

So what they're saying is that it is not voluntary at all, it is compulsory. Big brother would, undoubtedly, say "of course it's voluntary, you don't have to go into the pub if you don't want to take the test", but that's just playing semantics/pedantics. It is compulsory and an erosion of our civil liberties.

I can see what will happen; people will see the drug testing taking place and decide not to go into the pub. The Police will say "Oh look! Someone choosing not to go into the pub, they must be guilty, quick! Stop and search them!"

Something else will happen too, pubs will lose business. I don't take drugs, but there's no way I would go into any pub which wanted to test me. To insist on testing people is a presumtion of guilt, which goes against what this country's law is allegedly based upon, innocent until proven guilty.

How would the pubs like it if every customer demanded to test the strength/quality of their beer every single time they ordered a pint? After all, I've been in a few pubs where the beer tasted watered-down.

The curse of Pipex

The curse of Pipex has struck again. Open University students who are unfortunate enough to have Pipex as their ISP are being denied access to the OU's servers in the evening because Pipex is 'Traffic Managing' and treating the OU client/server interface as a peer to peer network, which it is most definitely not.

Pipex, of course, deny that they are doing this. However, it's a bit strange that ever since Tiscali took over from Pipex, no OU students have been able to access the server in the evenings. This means that they cannot get on with their coursework or access their tutor groups or course conferences, having the knock-on effect that they can't get on with a fair chunk of their studying.

I wonder how many students will hold Pipex responsible if they fail their courses because they couldn't access some of the materials when they needed to?

If there's anyone from Pipex reading this, please, I beg you on behalf of the quarter of a million OU students out there, STOP BLOCKING PORT 510! It is NOT P2P, it is a client/server relationship. Pipex is preventing legitimate use of the service because of ignorance.

EDIT - Sunday 26 Oct - My fellow students and I still can't get into the server in the evenings. I have had enough and I intend to ditch Pipex in favour of an ISP that does actually give a shit, and bothers to respond to complaints instead of either ignoring them completely or keep asking for information such as my date of birth, which is bloody irrelevant and just a delaying tactic because they can't be arsed to resolve the matter.

I find it very sad that Pipex, which once had a reputation for excellent physical service and customer service, has turned into a pile of crap since being taken over by Tiscali.

and another thing...

It's rather sad that I can only find the time to write in this blog when I'm ill.

Urgh

I am full of snot, coughing my guts up and generally feeling quite poo.

I was feeling ill at the end of last week but, rather stupidly, overdid it at the weekend and now I'm paying the price.

Last night, I was running a very high temperature, yet still felt freezing cold. I was snuggled up with my hot water bottle, under my winter duvet, and still didn't feel warm.

A hot shower and a cup of cocoa helped a little and, rather surprisingly, I nodded off and slept for 14 hours. I woke up feeling like I've been punched in the head, but I'm not cold any more.

I am now wrapped up on the sofa, laptop on knee, cup of tea in hand and seriously considering going back to bed.

Changing the meaning of words

Have you ever looked at a word written down and thought "that doesn't look right". The more you look at it, the more it looks wrong. You spell it out letter by letter, but it still looks wrong, so you check the dictionary and the spelling there matches the word on your page, yet it still looks wrong.

I have found that the same thing happens with the spoken word; the more you say a word over and over again, the stranger it sounds. Sometimes it even takes on a completely different meaning.

One such word that has been bugging me recently is 'homeowner'. If you watch the television, listen to the radio or read any newspapers, you cannot escape this word. Financial organisations offer loans and 'debt consolidation' agreements to homeowners, the news tells of homeowners struggling to pay mortgages or maintain their level of spending. We are bombarded with media talking about, or to 'homeowners' (sic.) Yes, one word, 'homeowner', as opposed to 'home owner' or 'home-owner'.

It has become a single word, which now presents me with a bit of a problem. Every time I hear the word 'homeowner' I wonder if it is the new term for a person who is unhappy with the service received from a prostitute.

Is it just me?

Children 'ruining' visits to pubs

So, the Good Pub Guide has finally acknowledged what I have long known to be the truth: a lot of people don't want kids in pubs. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, kids should not be in pubs unless they are sat quietly with their parents, and do not leave their seats unaccompanied. I avoid like the plague those pubs which market themselves towards families, because I know that it will be a noisy hell inside.

When I was a kid, most pubs didn't let kids in, but they did have a beer garden where the kids could play. Nowadays, the little buggers get everywhere and if you dare to complain that someone else's brat is under your table, the parents seem to think that it's your fault and that you are the nasty one.

I was extremely gratified to read that one of my favourite pubs, Ye Olde Man and Scythe in Bolton no longer allows children in the pub (including those in pushchairs - yes, they're still kids, you know!). In the case of this wonderful establishment, I suspect it has an awful lot to do with the limited space in the bar area, one pushchair could cause utter chaos. However, the lack of kids is not the only reason for paying a visit, they also serve an excellent range of ales, ciders and whiskies, and you are guaranteed a friendly welcome. Once a year, the landlord also volunteers to get his head chopped off, but I'll let you look at the website to find out why!

I digress. Landlords, remember, some pubs get trade because they let kids in, other pubs get trade because they don't. Personally, I'll go to the ones who dont.

Why is the UK populated by people 'passive against crime'? According to leading think-tank 'Reform', it is because we insist that something should be done, but we're not prepared to do it ourselves, relying, instead, on the courts, the Police and the Government.

Actually, I think they're missing a very big point. People don't get involved because, thanks to 'human rights' legislation, the victims or defenders of victims of crime are often treated worse than the criminals themselves. The media is always reporting stories of people who get arrested for having injured, threatened or even just hurt the feelings of criminals.

Let me tell you a little tale. My elderly uncle awoke in the early hours of the morning and heard a noise downstairs. He went to investigate and found a burglar in his kitchen. He shouted, and the burglar threatened him with a knife. My uncle grabbed a bag from the side and hit the man over the head with it. The burglar ran away, but was later apprehended by the Police. What really shocked us, was that my uncle was also arrested, for assault, following a complaint from the burglar. No charges were ever brought, but my uncle, a war veteran and respectable man, never really recovered from the incident and said that he had lost faith in the Police.

Let me tell you another little tale. My friend was walking down a main shopping street when he heard a woman screaming. A thief had snatched her handbag and was running towards my friend. My friend, a very big lad, stepped out and stuck out his arm. The thief ran into his arm and fell, and my friend apprehended him. When the Police arrived, they arrested the thief, and my friend accompanied them to the Police station to give evidence. A short while later, the arresting officer told my friend that the thief wanted to press charges of assault against him, on the advice of his solicitor. Fortunately, in this case, the Police Officer was a sensible human being and thought that this was a silly idea and persuaded the thief and the solicitor that it was not a good idea.

Why on earth would decent law-abiding citizens wish to get involved in preventing and tackling crime, when they end up being treated like criminals themselves?

Until the law is changed, and some common sense applied, people are best staying out of it. Personally, I believe that if someone breaks into your property and threatens you with violence, you should have the right to beat seven shades of the brown sticky stuff out of them. Whilst this nanny state treats criminals with kid gloves, they are not going to reform. However, if they got thumped every time they broke the law, they might change their minds. Instant retribution is what's needed, not months of paperwork and waiting.

Of course, this leads on to the semantics of what constitutes 'reasonable force'. I could go on forever with that one. Perhaps 'equal force' might be more appropriate... ?

What's wrong with Bolton?

Actually, there's nothing at all wrong with Bolton. It's a wonderful town and I am proud to be a resident.

However, anyone from outside Bolton, who is unlucky enough to read the online version of the local newspaper, would think it is the most dreadful town in England. The paper specialises in little but bad news, and the standard of the reporting is, at best, poor. It concentrates on trivia and the only thing that makes it interesting for the ordinary person is the liberal use of poor spelling and grammar, giving fodder to the regulars of the online forum.

It is very rare that they have many 'good news' stories (with the notable exception of the recent Olympic success of Jason Kenny), and this weekend, it seems as though they were so short of stories that they have approached our excellent fire service for statistics and then made each item into a drama. There is a part of me that thinks that publishing all these stories of bin fires is just giving bored teenagers bad ideas.

A selection of headlines from the past two days:

• Man stabbed in Bury
• Arsonist target bin
• Fire in derelict house
• Den destroyed in arson attack
• Rubbish set alight
• Arsonists target van
• TV sparks incident
• Dryer blaze
• Pan sparks blaze
• Call to end SATs fails at council meeting
• £40,000 damage as boyfriend drives car into bungalow
• Man to be sentenced for animal cruelty
• Woman jailed for attack on baby
• Post delivered to empty house
• Developers face ASBO threat over illegal signs
• Vehicle destroyed in fire
• Car destroyed in blaze
• Arsonists target car
• Boy suffers burns
• Man admits raping teenage schoolgirl

Yes, folks, come to Bolton, but don't use the paper as your guide.

Lancashire's Sacred Landscape: From Prehistory to the Viking Age

I have had the priviledge of reading some of the draft pages of this book, and it's excellent. Get out there and buy it!

Exam results are out - quick squeal for your life!

What is it with teenagers these days? You see the news reports on the telly of successful young folk receiving their exam results, and they celebrate by squealing and screaming and jumping around and hugging their friends. What drugs are they on?

Don't get me wrong, I'm really chuffed for all of them. They've worked hard for their results, and good luck to them.

What's all the screaming about though? When I got my GCSE results, we were just handed a thin strip of paper with the list of results on and told "there they are, bye then" and that was it. Go home and find a summer job. When I got my A-Level results, we were taken, one at a time, into a private room where a tutor would tell us our results and then, those of us who had applied for university places, were told which universities had accepted us and which had rejected us. (I still can't believe I chose Hull over Durham though!) There was no screaming, no hugging the tutor or our mates, it was a business-like affair followed by a swift half in the pub before going back to our summer jobs.

I really can't be doing with all of this childish demonstrative celebration and it worries me that these highly-strung teenagers are the future of this country.

Or maybe I'm just a boring old bastard with nothing better to do than sit here and whinge.

Baba O'Riley

When I was a kid, my parents bought me an electronic keyboard. I had great fun with it, and discovered that I could play a brief, meaningless twiddle, and then play it back, speed it up and loop it. My mum hated it, and used to get really annoyed, and I used to giggle and do it all the more.

Recently, Rock Radio has been playing Baba O'Riley by The Who quite a lot, and now I understand exactly why my mum used to get annoyed. Baba O'Riley has to have one of the worst intro/backing tracks ever. It sounds just like the stuff I was doing when I was 8 years old - a tuneless twiddle speeded up to add extra irritation. Every time that track is played, I have the urge to throw the radio through the window.

I'm sorry mum, I truly am. Now I understand the hell I put you through.

Junk mail ... ?

Why does our office cleaner seem to think that my 'in' tray is a holding bay for junk?

Every day, I put the work I need to deal with into the 'in' tray. Logical, eh? So why is it that every morning when I sit at my desk, I have to clear out random objects such as coasters, used stamps, pens, scraps of paper, used envelopes and bulldog clips? Grrrrr. Maybe I should invest in an addition tray and mark it "Random Shite".

Even better, this morning, I found that my paper recycling box was full of tin cans and bits of plastic. Marvellous.

I just love spending the first 15 minutes of each day putting things back where they were the previous evening. You'd think that after 5 years, the cleaner would realise that I put stuff where I want it, and leave it there.

Loony Right strikes again

Apparently it's so grim up north, that everyone should move south. Stupid buggers. Can't they see beyond Watford Gap?

The people at 'Policy Exchange' have said that people should be told the "reality" to avoid them becoming "trapped" in less prosperous parts of the country. Oh yeah? So they'd rather just overcrowd the south with people who don't want to be there? How would towns become prosperous at all if people moved out? Surely to make towns prosper, people should move in?

Occasionally, I have to go to London for work-related reasons, and I hate the place. It's full of people rushing around everywhere, and I always get the impression that it's grimy and sweaty. Well, it is on the tube anyway. You get off the train and are swept away in a fast current of people plugged into mobile phones and music-producing devices, too busy in their own little worlds to smile, or even notice when they're shoving other people out of the way. No thanks, I'd rather stay up here.

I wonder how much time these loonies spent discussing this topic before making this ridiculous statement? I had a quick look at their website and saw a quotation from Oliver Letwin, praising them to the heavens. I would be very reluctant to take seriously any group endorsed by that twit.

Sorry, no kids

Thanks to Ferritt for bringing my attention to this news story about a couple who have complained after the vicar at their wedding asked for their noisy child to be removed from the church because he was disrupting the ceremony.

So, should be kids be banned from weddings? Well, of course that should be down to the bride and groom, and there's plenty of people who will say that of course kids should be there to join in the celebrations.

Let me put the other point of view. I have been to many events, not just weddings, where kids have run riot in church and at receptions and parties. They get under your feet, they're noisy and often a complete and utter pain in the arse, skidding around on their knees and screaming. My own wedding dress was ripped, because of a kid jumping up and down on the train because he thought it was funny to try to make me fall over. Believe me, I was not impressed. My mum didn't spend £500 on a beautiful silk dress just so some brat could wreck it within hours.

Then there's the kids in pubs. Oh how I could go on about that for hours. When I go to a pub, it's because I want to have a drink with my friends, not because I want someone else's brat screaming in my ear and crawling around under the table. Pubs are not places for kids to play. Yes, there are some pubs which do cater especially for kids, giving them fantastic play areas, and I have no problem at all with that, so long as the kids stay in the play areas and don't think that it's OK to play around my feet. Indeed, the sure-fire way of guaranteeing I would not go in a pub, is when it has a big sign outside reading 'Wacky Warehouse' or something similar.

So, you may think that I really hate kids, but you'd be wrong. It's irresponsible parents that I hate. If your kid is being a pain in the arse, don't just let them annoy everyone else, sort them out! Don't wait for someone to tell you that your kid is a nuisance, you should be intelligent enough to spot that for yourself.

I once told off a small child for banging the telephone receiver up and down on top of my television set, and the mother said "Don't you tell off my child, he's only being a little tinker". Through gritted teeth, I replied "He might only be a little tinker, but if he breaks either the telephone or the television, YOU will be buying me a new one". Funnily enough, she decided to deal with him pretty quickly after that. It wasn't the kid's fault - he'd never been told what was, and was not acceptable behaviour. On completely the opposite tack, Smurf once threw someone out of our house because he over-disciplined his child. He hit her so hard he knocked her off her feet. She wasn't hurt, but that wasn't the point. If you can't teach and discipline your children without resorting to violence, then you need to seek help. Best of all, just don't have kids.

Mmmm, tasty!

I had a bit of an 'aaarrrrggghhhhh!' moment this morning. I went in the fridge to get a new carton of raspberry yoghurt to go with a banana for breakfast. Unfortunately, it would appear that the lid wasn't sealed and as I grabbed it from the top shelf, I tipped it, and raspberry yoghurt spilled all over the inside of the fridge, and all over my mushrooms :o(

I sniffed at the remains of the yoghurt in the pot, and it was well and truly 'off', so that was my breakfast plan ruined. I then spent the next five minutes emptying the fridge and cleaning out the yoghurt and washing the mushrooms.

Not a good start to the day.

Scottish Shouty Man

I have just got a Freeview box for my office, after many years of threatening to get one. Right now, I am watching the Scottish First Minister's Questions. Sadly I can't concentrate on it very well because the First Minister, Alex Salmond, is shouting the place down, so it's making it really difficult listening.

Mr. Salmond, I can assure you that the microphones are working perfectly. No-one else seems to need to shout, so can you please pack it in, because it just makes you look inept and foolish.

ADDENDUM: It would appear he only shouts at Wendy Alexander. To the best of my knowledge, she isn't hard of hearing, so I guess he's just scared of her.

Hayfever is hell

I am right fed up. Why is it, that the one thing that I know will relieve my hayfever, is the one thing that my GP will no longer prescribe? Kenalog's licence has been withdrawn in the UK for treatment of allergies. My new GP described its use as 'using a sledgehammer to crack a nut'. Apparently it can cause osteoporosis with 'frequent and prolongued' use. Although I have argued that once is year is hardly 'frequent', none of my 3 most recent GPs have agreed to administer it, which I think is incredibly inhumane.

Let me tell you about my hayfever. In fact, no, you can experience it for yourself, with these simple steps.

First, take a pencil and shove the blunt end up one nostril until it starts to poke out your eyeball. Then, using a sealant gun, fill up the other nostril with silicone. Next, take a handful of itching powder and carefully rub into each eye, until you want to tear off your eyelids. Now your eyes should be streaming constantly, with pale green goo dribbling down your face 24/7. When you awake in the morning, your face will be stuck to the pillow, and you have to carefully peel off the congealed and crusty goo before stumbling blindly towards the bathroom to use a sponge to mop off the rest. This feels like you are sandpapering your face. As you pick off the crusty coating on your eyelids, you grimace at being able to see the devastation that is your face. As you move your lips, they crack and sting. Great!

Now you're a bit more awake, let's really get going. Do you have any cleaning fluids in the bathroom? Have a good gargle until you strip the lining out of your throat. Your throat should now itch like hell and any attempt to quell it (including drinking water) will result in pain. Are you getting the idea?

Once you've picked all of the goo out of your eyes and almost stopped coughing (which can occasionally result in vomiting), you're ready to get dressed. Take a bog roll into the bedroom with you, you'll need it to mop up the results of the constant sneezing that you will experience for the rest of the day. Don't forget to take your hayfever tablets, eye drops, throat spray and nasal spray. You may need a holdall to carry it all. Remember to take the bog roll into the car with you, for your journey to work.

When you get to work, go into the bathroom and wash your face, and spend another five minutes picking the pale green goo out of your eyes again. Your face will now look as though you've been punched several times, and you'll feel like it too.

Sitting at your desk isn't so bad, really. You'll still sneeze a bit, and your nose will still be completely blocked, but so long as you keep the windows shut, you should be able to get away with only having to wash your face every half hour or so, not forgetting to apply vaseline to your lips every time to stop them cracking and bleeding even more than they are already doing.

Hometime! Grab your bog roll and head for the car. As soon as the sunlight hits your eyes, expect another sneezing fit of epic proportions. Use the bog roll to clean the snot off your steering wheel and windscreen.

Weekend! Yay! Weekends are great. You can relax for at least 2 minutes, until you realise that every one of your neighbours is mowing the lawn at the same time. They think you're weird because, even on the hottest days, you have to have every window and door fastened tightly shut. Every time they see you, you are clutching a bog roll, and they wonder if it's some sort of fetish.

Meeting new people is always interesting too. They like to tell you all their patent remedies for hayfever. Yes, I know that local honey is supposed to be good, as is elderflower tea. No, I will not put vaseline up my nose - that not only feels disgusting, but my nose is blocked enough as it is, without stuffing another pollen-trap up there. Yes, I know you can get hayfever tablets in the pound shop, but when you need the equivalent of two packets a day, it really isn't much value for money. The prescription-only tablets that I get are supposed to be an adult dose of 180mg per day. I am on 540mg (180mg three times a day), which just about allows me to function enough to eat, work and sleep. The nasal decongestant is quite good most of the time. However, sometimes it's hard to actually get the spray to where it is needed because it hits the barrier of goo up the nose and just dribbles straight back out again. If you are unfortunate enough to inhale whilst spraying it, it goes down the back of your throat, which not only tastes disgusting, but dries out the throat too. The eye drops are also quite good for washing out the eyes, but they tend to leave crusty bits on the eyelashes, which are itchy and not pretty.

I don't care what everyone recommends for hayfever, it never works. I know what worked for me, and it's the one thing that I am not permitted to have.

Roll on Autumn!

Sally's Biking 4 Brainray

Sally Ann Holmes is a very brave lady, who is raising funds for Hurstwood Park Neurological Centre, who saved her life when she suffered a sub-arachnoid brain haemorrhage six years ago.

Sally Ann and her friend Richard will be biking all the way around the coast of Britain in a bum-numbing 3,500 mile ride. You can keep track of their progress on the website here. Why not have a look at where they are going to be and meet them en-route to give them some support and maybe a bit of company? There's not many feelings better than that of a group of bikers riding together, especially when it's in aid of a good cause.

If you'd like to make a donation to boost their efforts, please go to the JustGiving website and part with some dosh.

Thanks to Saxman of the Yodashire Massive for letting us know about Sally Ann & Richard's ride.

Tory MP to waste public money on unnecessary byelection

Tory MP, David Davis has announced that he is standing down as Member of Parliament for Haltemprice & Howden in order to make a stand over the issue of 42 day detention. However, he then plans to re-stand for the same position.

Whilst I admire his guts for standing up for his beliefs, I don't admire the waste of public money that will be spent on administering the by-election, and the cynic in me says that it's just one huge publicity stunt to get his name in the press.

The Liberal Democrats have indicated that they do not propose to waste their time and money putting a candidate against him, and it's unlikely that the Labour Party will field a candidate either.

It's all well and good to have principles when you know you're going to win.

Lost Weekend & Danny Vaughn

Are photographers really a threat?

I have always had an interest in photography, ever since I was given a Kodak Retinette when I was a child. I never really progressed beyond point-and-shoot snapshot photography, despite Smurf's patient efforts to teach me the more technical side of things. However, I still love taking photos. When I bought a digital SLR a couple of years ago, I decided it was about time that I learned how to do it properly, and regretted not paying more attention to Smurf's advice. Anyway, I decided to sign up for the Open University's Digital Photography course, and I am really enjoying it, although I don't really have enough time to dedicate to it at the moment.

One thing that has been worrying me a lot recently, is the high number of reports in the press about photographers being harassed for taking pictures in public places. Such is the paranoia raised by the some of the less-reputable media, that many photographers are now viewed with suspicion. If you take a photo of kids playing, you're accused of being a paedophile, if you take a photo of a large public building, you're accused of being a terrorist.

I have been fuming about the stupidity of sheeple for quite some time now, and so I was really pleased to read an article in the Guardian Newspaper by Bruce Schneier about the general ignorance surrounding photography, terrorism and the like. Go and read it now. It makes sense.

In Mr. Schneier's words:

"Fear aside, there aren't many legal restrictions on what you can photograph from a public place that's already in public view. If you're harassed, it's almost certainly a law enforcement official, public or private, acting way beyond his authority. There's nothing in any post-9/11 law that restricts your right to photograph.

"This is worth fighting. Search "photographer rights" on Google and download one of the several wallet documents that can help you if you get harassed; I found one for the UK, US, and Australia. Don't cede your right to photograph in public. Don't propagate the terrorist photographer story. Remind them that prohibiting photography was something we used to ridicule about the USSR. Eventually sanity will be restored, but it may take a while."

Well said, Mr. Schneier, I just hope that those enforcement officials pay attention.

Remember, that under normal circumstances, no-one (including Police, other officials or security guards) has the right to seize your photographic equipment or demand that memory cards are deleted/confiscated without a court order, even if they think they contain damaging or useful evidence. If an enforcement official erases any of your photographs without your permission, it amounts to criminal damage and that anyone who deletes a photographer’s images without permission could face criminal, civil or disciplinary action.

Be aware, though, that in some circumstances, the police are permitted to confiscate your film or memory cards but they are still not permitted to delete any images because the images could be used as evidence for or against you.

Professor Pierre O'Bollox

The Professor has been a good friend of mine for many years, and he's always had something of a way with words. I think it would be fair to describe him as an eloquent twat.

Anyway, go and read his blog. Don't read it whilst you're drinking, cos you might need to replace your keyboard...

Bikers' fuel protest

Tomorrow, I shall be joining lots of other bikers in a peaceful protest against the ridiculous cost of fuel in the UK.

The boss has even let me have the morning off work to go. Top bloke!

I will take my camera with me but, obviously, I won't be able to take pictures whilst I'm riding, unless I can grow another arm overnight, in which case, it won't fit in my jacket and will look rather strange...

What a nice day...

for flying a kite. We abducted next-door's pooch and took him to the beach for the day. I flew my kite and Stretch chased sticks and paddled in the sea.

Website of the day

Psych Central

and to add insult to injury...

there's a nail in the front offside tyre of my car. Sodding typical.

Bloody annoyed!

Yesterday, the electricity went off. AGAIN. It does this intermittently, and the supply company keep telling us that it is a 'transient fault' and that they can't fix it until the cable actually burns out, so that they can find the break.

Anyway, my neighbour, Vince, told me that the power had gone off at 10:30am, and that he'd rung them and was told that it would be past midnight when it would be fixed because (hurrah!) the cable had burned out and they could finally fix it properly by replacing the cable.

So, given that I'd already decided to stay at Spike's last night, I went round the house turning everything off, including the central heating.

When I got home from work this evening, I opened the front door to be met my a pyroclastic blast of heat. WTF??? The heating was on. I checked the timer and it was set to permanent 'on'. I swear I set it to permanent 'off'. I really did - honest! I assume that the break in the electricity supply had returned it to a default setting of 'on'.

So, having spent most of the winter with the heating off, and me wrapped in a duvet because I couldn't afford the gas bill, my heating was on for 19 hours on a warm day and I wasn't even in the bloody house to reap the benefit.

However, having been home for four hours now, with the heating off, I can honestly say that my new loft and cavity wall insulation works, cos it's still like a bloody sauna in here. Actually, I'm sat on the sofa in just a t-shirt, cos it really is that warm. Don't worry folks, the curtains are closed :o)

Earth movement?

Never mind bloody earth movement, I nearly had a bowel movement!

5.3 on the Richter Scale, 0 on the Smurf scale. Yep, apparently he slept right through it, but this is hardly surprising for a man who slept through a fire alarm at the TT....

How do you define fat?

There seems to be so many ways now, of people telling us that we're fat, obese, whatever, but which way is the best?

According to Diabetes UK, if you are a woman and your waist is larger than 31.5", or a man with a waist of over 37" then you are at risk of diabetes. That's me fucked then - my waist is 38", or 36" when I lay off eating bread (and no, I'm not gluten intolerant).

When I was about 20 years old, my waist was 34" and people used to say to me "Oh my God! You're too skinny, are you anorexic?" How come? Well, I'm 5'11" tall for a start. 34" was actually about right for me. If my waist was as low as 31.5", given my build, I think my dad would start to panic that I was seriously ill, just like he did when I was in my mid to late teens.

How can an organisation make a sweeping generalisation such as waist size to determine someone's health? If I were 4'11" then yes, I might be worried if my waist was over 31.5", but at 5'11", then it's a different matter.

OK, so I am ignoring the waist size thing. How about BMI? Well, yes, I'm in the overweight category at 28.7, but how much of my weight is owing to muscle and how much is owing to fat? According to my body fat report, I score 29% - the 'healthy range' is from 21 to 33. So, one report says I'm obese, one says I'm borderline overweight and another says I'm healthy.

Great, so who is right? Should I be paranoid, or satisfied? Actually, I'm neither. I'm not happy. I've tried to lose weight for the past 5 years or so, with no success. I don't eat much junk food, although I admit to scoffing a bag of pork scratchings, a bag of crisps and half a box of After Eight mints at the weekend, but hell, once in a while you've got to let go, haven't you? According to my food diary, I have been eating fewer than 1400 calories per day for the past 8 months (the recommended guideline is 2,000 for women and 2,500 for men) , and I have lost a whole 2lbs. I exercise more, eat less and my weight doesn't change.

I give up.

I'd just like to say...

that I really couldn't give a shit about the Oscars, or 'Arsekars' as they now appear to pronounce them.

I couldn't give a stuff what fashion disasters people are wearing this year, nor could I give a stuff about whose party is the best, or which luvvie wants to thank his or her mother, dog walker or toilet seat-warmer.

It's all self-congratulatory bollocks. Get a life and stop clogging up the news reports with it. It's not news, it's boring and tacky and I have better things to do than listen to or watch it.

School 1960 vs. School 2007

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.

1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.

Scenario: Jeffrey won't sit still in class, disrupts other students.

1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal's office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes azombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has adisability. Drops out of school.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him the slipper.

1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mum has an affairwith the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.

Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school .

1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.

1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
2007 - Mohammed's cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuitagainst state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.

1960 - Ants die.
2007 - MI5 and police are called and Johnny is charged with perpertrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny's dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.

1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.

Back to Basics

I was listening to BBC Radio Manchester this morning; they had the Chief Constable of Greater Manchester (Michael Todd) on, talking about youth nuisance, such as kids being drunk, noisy and abusive.

A listener commented that the Police rarely arrest the kids or take them home, they just move them on elsewhere.

Why on earth can't they chuck them in the drunk tank and keep them there until their parents/guardians come to collect them? They'd soon pack it in if that happened. I know that if that had ever happened to me, I'd have been grounded indefinitely.

Yes, I accept that, initially, there would be more drunks than there were places to hold them, but once they realised that it wasn't just a threat, it was a reality, they would soon learn not to do it.

The problems with some of today's youf is that they think that they are untouchable. Nanny do-gooders invented human rights and now, instead of coming down on these brats like a ton of bricks, they just simper and ask them nicely to stop it. Time to get tough, stop being nice and bring back some old fashioned policing.

Pipex - DNS change

I couldn't get online at all on Monday, so I rang Pipex but their helpdesk closes at 9pm and I was 5 minutes too late. I rang my mate, who is also on Pipex, but she could get online and was OK. She checked the website and it said that there were no service outages.

I rang Pipex from work the following morning and the girl suggested that my firewall was blocking access. I knew it wasn't, because it worked perfectly before, and firewalls don't suddenly reconfigure themselves.

When I got home from work on Tuesday, I still couldn't get online, and rang them again. After being on hold for 17 minutes, at 10p per minute, I got through to a very pleasant chap who started on the standard script of reboot this, unplug that. I stopped him and said I'd already tried all of that, and that the problem was that the DNS was not able to resolve IP addresses. "Ah!" says he. It turns out that they changed the DNS at the weekend, and he gave me the new numbers, and bingo! it worked.

Surely it is not beyond the wit of man to realise that if the ISP was changing the DNS, that they could have e-mailed all of their customers to tell them of the change, rather than just cutting everyone off? Surely they could have put something on their website, so that people logging in from work, like I did, would know about the change and not have to spend ages on the phone trying to sort it out? Or perhaps they just wanted everyone to ring in and pay their 10p a minute to boost their coffers?

Goth Events

Do you want to know what's on in the world of Goth music? Do you want to publicise your event? Worry not, help is at hand in the form of GothEvent.com, a brand-spanking new site just for event listings. Go on, go and have a look - what are you waiting for?

City of Culture?

So, Liverpool is set to be the European Capital of Culture for 2008, is it? I beg to differ.

A fortnight ago, Spike & I went into the city centre, my first ever shopping trip to Liverpool, and quite possibly my last.

The first thing we did was to go to the bakery and get a pasty and a doughnut each. We were standing next to the Radio City box office in the St. John's shopping centre, just opposite the bakery, quite happily munching away and watching the world go by, when a small grumpy woman barged past me, carrying some sandwich wrappers. She dumped them in the bin and then glared at us and snapped "I suppose that lot was yours!". "Erm, no", I replied, stunned at how rude she was. I pointed out that I'd put my wrapper in the bin and that I was still eating my doughnut. "Well YOU'RE standing there", she snapped. I have never felt my anger rise so quickly. I had the urge to slap her, but managed to restrain myself. I repeated that the litter wasn't mine, but she just glared at me and unlocked the door to the booth and went inside, so I called her a silly cow and left.

Radio City - if this woman is an employee of yours, I commend her for her attitude towards litter, but her attitude & behaviour towards complete strangers is disgusting. I had never been to Liverpool before, and if that woman is an example of how your employees and fellow citizens treat visitors, I will never visit again. She ruined our day. You may think this is petty anger, but given that persuading Spike to leave the house is a challenge in itself, only for some stupid woman to upset us both by falsely accusing us of leaving litter, was just the topping on the cake. His recovery has been set back as a direct result of your actions, and I have never felt so insulted.

We ended up going straight home, having lost all enthusiasm for our day out. If that woman is an example of how you're promoting your 'City of Culture', you can stuff it. I have no desire to return to Liverpool.

Long time, no blog

OK, I've been busy. Very busy. Not really had time to fart recently, although Spike would probably claim that that is untrue.

Engrish

WTF ???



Lots more at Engrish.com

The name thing explained

Thanks to Pea for giving me the link to this BBC news article, explaining why some people think one shouldn't name a teddy bear after a Prophet, and why some people think it's not a big issue.

Interestingly enough, it says that the Islamic Society used to sell a teddy bear named after another Prophet, Adam the Prayer Bear.

Just a thought

If it's blasphemy to call a teddy bear 'Muhammad', why is it OK to call your child 'Muhammad' then? This isn't intended to be a criticism, it's a genuine question.

Yes, I know it's an insult to make an image of the prophet, but a teddy bear is a teddy bear. It's not an image of anything other than a bear.

Why has the teacher been arrested? It was the kids who chose the name. Surely, if it's so wrong, their parents are the ones who didn't educate them properly?

Thai Boxing Fights - 2 December 2007

It's gone too far

I had to double-check the date today, to make sure it wasn't 1 April. I can't believe that the paranoia propagated by our Government has now gone as far as announcing that the bags of rail travellers are to be searched. Can you imagine the chaos that it will cause? The public transport system is already in meltdown, and now they want to make it even worse by causing unnecessary delays whilst they invade your privacy even further than they do now.

I resent being treated like a criminal. I have never, to the best of my knowledge, broken the law in my entire life, so why should I have to submit to being degraded in this manner? If they do insist on searching all bags at stations I will simply stop using public transport altogether and add to the congestion on the roads. As for congestion charging, if that's brought in, I just won't go to those areas where it is introduced. I don't need to go into the city centres.

Every time I read in the news about the latest 'insecurity measures' I can feel the bile rising. This country makes me sick. Day after day, we are shit upon from a great height, and we are expected to sit here and take it. I work my guts out to help people who need all sorts of problems resolving and are not able to do it themselves, and yet I can do absolutely nothing to help to preserve the sanity and freedom of ordinary people like me who are inconvenienced, accused and harrassed by the state, all for the sake of paranoia. I no longer have any confidence in this Government that I, to my shame, voted for and have worked for. I would love to be able to meet those responsible for these ludicrous ideas and plead with them to see how they are wrecking this fomerly wonderful country of ours. I weep for the hopelessness and helplessness of it all.

I hate the way this country has gone, and I really mean it. I have absolutely no patriotism left. I am sick and tired of the constant so-called 'anti-terrorism' measures which are absolutely nothing to do with terrorism at all, and everything to do with eroding the liberty of British subjects. This once-proud nation is now reduced to a police state, where the state can do whatever it wants and the ordinary law-abiding citizen is treated like dirt on the shoes of the powers that be.

The threat of terrorism is no worse now than it was 30 years ago, and the only thing that these latest announcements will do, is increase the resentment of ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives without unnecessary and unwanted interference from a bunch of overpaid people who appear to produce this rubbish in a misguided attempt to justify their salaries.

Please, stop this madness now!

Sick of it already

Bloody Xmas adverts on the telly. Xmas is not for another 6½ weeks, yet we're being bombarded with suggestions that we need to go into siege mode and stock up on chocolate and alcohol. Like I don't do that all year round anyway?

I'm sick of the marketing and the hype for what is, to be honest, a bloody boring day when most people eat themselves sick and then fall asleep in front of the telly. The earlier the marketing starts, the more I hate Xmas. The capitalists wreck it.

I am preparing to batten down the hatches already, and the first day I hear any Xmas music in the shops, will be the day I stop shopping for the rest of the year.

Bah! Humbug!

Ow ow ow ow

Spike and I did a five hour walk with Liverpool Council Ranger Service this afternoon, and my feet are killing me. Damn good walk though, and very interesting. The Ranger, Ronnie, gave us a very interesting talk on the big houses in the Calderstones area, and explained how some of them fell into ruin, and others were renovate by the Council.

Now, where can I get new feet?

RIP - Nana

My nana died last night, after a several years of suffering from dementia and being very frail.

In one way, I feel very sad. She was good to me as a kid, and I miss the person that she used to be. In another way, I'm glad, because she's no longer suffering.

Slob's rant

OK, so I don't have the monopoly on ranting. Slob's rant on poor driving is rather good. In fact, I reckon he's been taking lessons from me ;o) However, seeing as he probably still has that video of me venting my spleen at the Mabon Rally, I suppose I'd better just be nice to him...

Love you really!

Why can't religious 'leaders' keep their opinions to themselves?

The Archbishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams, has also annoyed me today. I have to say that I usually think that Dr. Williams is pretty sensible, but it beggers belief that he thinks that the age of criminal responsibility should be raised.

Dr. Williams obviously doesn't know some of the little scrotes that live in my area. Believe me, 10 year-olds DO know right from wrong, but they also know that they'll get away with criminal activity because it's too much hard work for the justice system to deal with them. I'm not blaming the Police here - they do a great job, it's the rest of the system which is an arse.

I know one copper who wasted months chasing round after one particular little bastard, knowing that every time he caught him, the magistrates would let the little darling go because he was too young, or from a broken home, or because they didn't have room for him in the cells. The aforementioned copper was highly pissed off because every time they let the scrote out, he was off committing more crimes within the hour. It made a mockery of the law, and the copper was very disillusioned.

In the case of young children committing crimes, the parents should be made to take more responsibility, and the justice system should mete out punishments which drive it home to the kids that what they have done is wrong. If they scrawl graffiti on walls, they should be made to clean it off, if they break or damage something they should be made to replace it, or work until they have paid off the debt in kind.

This country is already too soft on juvenile criminals and it's about time that the do-gooders woke up and smelt the coffee.

More religious interference

The Bishop of Bolton is giving away apples as part of his campaign to re-brand Halloween.

Is he really? What a bigot!

How would he like it if people started a campaign to re-brand Christmas?

Instead of trying to demonise the beliefs of others, perhaps he should just mind his own business, get on with celebrating his own religion and let others get on with celebrating theirs.

Woof!

Seized Elton artwork not indecent

A month ago, the photograph, entitled 'Klara and Edda Bely Dancing' by American Nan Goldin, was seized by Police from Gateshead's Baltic gallery following concerns that it was child pornography.

Apparently it has now been decided that it is not indecent. So, what is this controversial picture? What caused the fuss? Well, here it is (censored). At least, I'm told this is it. I'm not sure I believe it.



My reaction? It's shite. I can't believe that anyone would pay money to purchase that picture, even if it was part of a set. If it was one which I had taken, I would have deleted it from the camera because it wasn't worth saving.

It's a couple of kids messing about in the kitchen. The lighting is poor, the setting is poor and I know kids who could have produced a better image on a disposable camera.

Is that really the picture in question? Surely this is someone taking the piss? Please tell me that the real photograph is actually a good one.

The only reason I can think of for anyone wanting that picture, is for the shock value. The photographer must have been laughing her tits off when she sold it. Money for old rope, in my opinion. If Elton John really does think it's a good photo, I have hundreds he can buy. I have a particularly good one of my feet, and another of my finger. The one I have from the end of the film, where there's only half a frame is not bad too. Very artistic I think. Sort of black and yellow and you can see the holes where the film locates on the spools. Must be worth a few bob, with the right marketing.

So, is it pornography? No, I don't think it is. There's nothing sexual about it, it's just a picture of a naked kid. Hell, my parents have naked photos of me as a young child. That doesn't make them perverts, and I have no problem with the existence of those pictures because I am not ashamed of my body, not then, not now.

There is, of course, the question of the child's right to privacy. Whilst it's perfectly normal for parents to take naked pictures of their kids, is it right that they should be allowed to publish them, when the child has no say in the matter, and isn't of an age or maturity to know the implications of publication? How will the child feel about this in 10 years time? How will her friends feel about it?

RSPCA breaks the law on releasing non-native species

In the UK, the grey squirrel is a non-native pest, which is a threat to the native red squirrel. Indeed, it is so much of a pest that if one is captured, it is illegal to release it.

So why did the RSPCA officer release this one? It should have been humanely dispatched. Surely the RSPCA Inspector should know the law?

Is it me?

I was rather amused to read this petition on the 10 Downing Street website.

So the person who wants to ban 'English Litrature' [sic] belives that 'The only requirement you need is to be competent in reading and writing."

Is it me?

The future is here!

According to this BBC report, the human species may split into two in about 100,000 years, into a "a genetic upper class and a dim-witted underclass".

It goes on to say "The descendants of the genetic upper class would be tall, slim, healthy, attractive, intelligent, and creative and a far cry from the "underclass" humans who would have evolved into dim-witted, ugly, squat goblin-like creatures."

Well, much as I like to read scientific research, I can't believe that Dr. Curry thinks it will be as far away as another 100,000 years. Has he never seen the chavs having around on the street corners, grunting at each other and communicating with wild hand-gestures? Has he not seen the drunken louts, staggering through the streets, urinating in corners and throwing up on the pavements and shouting at passers-by? Has he not seen them burberry-clad yobs, smashing bottles, trying to smoke two cigarettes at the same time, or the slapper tiny-teens pushing their prams around whilst swigging from bottles of booze?



















Sorry Dr. Curry, but the future is already here. There's even a whole website dedicated to the research of the subject of the new underclass.

What we need to know is, how can we reverse it? Won't somebody think of the children?

Stolen Bike Alert!

My mate's bike has been nicked in Leeds. If the person who nicked it is reading this, may I suggest that you leave it in a very safe place (perhaps even back where you found it) and notify the Police of its whereabouts, because people are out looking for you, even as I type. Hell hath no fury, etc. etc.

The bike:

Yamaha Virago, reg number G408 WBY

Blue in colour with leather cover on tank

has forward cruiser pegs which are quite unique

has highway hawk clock on barstop

silencer has no baffle in

has renntec sissy bar

RIP - Hilma Miles

Goodnight, Hilma, and sweet dreams always. We'll see you in Summerlands, if you can stop wandering for long enough!

Don't worry about being fat, it's not your fault.

Obese people can now abdicate all responsibility for their
condition, because it is "an inevitable consequence of a society in
which energy-dense, cheap foods, labour-saving devices, motorised
transport and sedentary work were rife."

And there was me thinking it's because we eat too much and don't take enough exercise. After all, everyone knows that there is a direct correlation between your weight and the amount of food you put in your mouth.

A former neighbour of my father once said "No fat people came out of the concentration camps, whether they had a thyroid condition or not. They just didn't get fed enough. Sometimes they just didn't get fed." Sadly he knew this from first-hand experience and never fully recovered from it.

Surely the answer is simple. If you have a sedentary lifestyle, then you should eat less. The longer you consume more than you expend, the fatter you will become.

If only I could practice what I preach.

Halloween is ruined!

Wow, and I thought that I could rant! A lady called Fallon, whom I am assuming is in the USA, has had a proper hissy-fit here, and I couldn't have said it better myself. Way to go, Fallon!

How old is 'too young'?

I heard a news item on the Today programme this morning, it was about the shooting of a Polish woman in London.

Something the newsreader said, really angered me. He said "A 17 year old youth, who is too young to be named...."

Hang on a minute! 'Too young to be named' ? He's 17. He's old enough to marry, have kids, work, drive a car or a motorcycle, old enough to have a licence for a gun, but he's too young to be named? No he's damn well not! Name him!

This country's law is all arse about face. We have young people who are old enough to work and pay taxes, yet too young to vote, people who are old enough to marry and have children, yet too young to drive or drink alcohol.

Surely it's about time that we had a long hard look at the age limits for things, and set them all to a logical level ? It's about time that we decided when someone is an adult and when they are not.

If the Government insists that people cannot vote until they are 18, then I suggest that all workers under the age of 18 should be income tax-exempt. That way, perhaps we could give them a good start in their working lives. Indeed, under-18s get paid a lower wage than those over 18, so why not give them a little more help?

Many people have called for a blanket age of 18, when someone becomes an adult and is legally allowed to start doing those things listed above. However, others have argued that to suddenly be granted so many new rights all at once will overwhelm the poor darlings and they will go mad from the stress. Get real!

As for the 'age of criminal responsibility', here in the UK, this is set at ten years old. So, if at ten years old, one is deemed to be criminally responsible, why is the aforementioned 17 year-old deemed 'too young to name'? See what I mean? Arse about face.

Name everyone over the age of 10 involved in any criminal activity where they are brought to justice and deemed to have known exactly what they were doing. Let everyone see who the little shits are, then punish them suitably.

Personally, yes I do advocate the return of the stocks or pillory. Oh but you can't humilate them, it's against their 'human rights'... No, stuff their human rights, they waived their rights when they broke the law. Now, where are the rotten tomatoes?

Fecking Bastards!

"Callous thieves broke into a Northamptonshire man's home as he lay dying in hospital, leaving his friends no way of contacting his family to tell them about his funeral.

Former colleagues and friends of Steve Taylor are now desperately searching for information which could put them in touch with his long lost daughter Candice, who is believed to still live in the county.

When burglars ransacked Mr Taylor's home in Greenaway Close, in Blisworth, they took his laptop computer and various personal items which may have contained clues leading to his family's whereabouts."

I have just read the above on Cernunnos MCC's website and I'm stunned, shocked and upset. To whoever did it, that I hope your genitalia rots and drops off.

Harley Steve was a lovely man, and scum like these thieves deserve to rot in hell as far as I'm concerned.

RIP Steve.