I was out on the bike for five hours today, and it was jolly good fun. I met up with the IAM mob in Shevington and we had a medium-paced ride through some great twisties to Preston. From there, Dr. Pain went home, cos the lucky git was off to see Bon Jovi in Manchester, and the rest of us headed off to Southport. Dave & I got separated from Barry and Kath, and then Kath got separated from Barry, but we still managed to meet up at the carousel on Southport promenade.

I decided it was time for breakfast at 11:30 and bought a chip butty, which was hot, but tasted pretty crap, and then we set off again. I passed a sign for 'Windmill Animal Farm', where my mate Spondon Chris works, as a steam train driver, so I thought I'd call in, but it was his day off, so I went for a blat instead and found some really nice twisties. I didn't really want to go home, but by 3pm I was getting a bit tired and thirsty, so I headed back to Keaw Yed City for a rest. Went to the Co-op on the way home to get a bottle of plonk and some choccies for this evening :o)

Why I love the World Cup

What??? I can hear your sharp intake of breath!

Gordon sent me a list of rules for Women for during the World Cup. He doesn't seem to realise how much I truly love the World Cup. It's a fantastic time of year - all those footy fans glued to their telly at home, or glued to the big screen in the pub, leaving the roads lovely and clear so that I can play on my bike.

Who on earth would want to watch f***ball when they have a motorbike to ride? Weirdos! You watch your little game, if that's what floats your boat, but I'll be having a better time than you.

Bikers have more fun than people.

words of wisdom

From Ian:

"Only a biker knows why a dog sticks its head out the window of a moving car."

How true :o)

sand sculptures

Wow! Have a look at these!

Low Oil Levels

BikerGran has discovered the real reason why our fuel prices are so high:

"A lot of people can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.

"The reason for that is purely geographical. Our oil is located in the North Sea.

"Our dipsticks are located in Westminster."

uninvited guest

Had a couple of unexpected visitors this evening. One managed to make its own way out, the other took about an hour to coax out, with the aid of a tea towel and a cardboard box. I'm happy to report that it climbed out of the box and flew away.

I have a sneaky suspicion that we may have a roost in our roof. I don't mind at all, but I'd prefer them not to be flying around my living room. Last time, we had one in the bedroom and I nearly shit myself when it flew out from the curtains.

Anyway, I think I might give the local conservation guys a call, just to see what I should do if it happens again.

IT helpdesk

Oooh, this is so true! Internet Helpdesk

my body hates me :o(

I spent most of Monday throwing my guts up, yesterday I just felt yakky, weak and feeble but by evening I felt OK. However, I was rudely awoken at 3am today with a pain in my stomach like you would not believe. I've been glued to the throne ever since and I am not a happy bunny.

At least I've got my laptop ...

burnt offerings?

Why is it that those ‘instant’ barbeques never ever seem to light with only one match, like it claims on the packaging? They only ever seem to light a quarter of the coals, and you spend the next ten minutes pushing paper and bog roll through the grill to try to get the rest going.

Once it's ready, you can then proceed to cremate your food at leisure.

and now we know where it is...

Murgen has discovered the source of the offending smell. Ten days after Freya's raid on the fridge, Murgen had had enough and started pulling the house apart and finally found it. A piece of stewing steak wedged between two boxes. Peace, tranquility and fresh air has now returned to the house of Murgen :o)

stupid banks

I have had an account with a certain bank for the past 24 years, and I also have a mortgage with them. Last week, I went into the bank to open a second account with them, and the lady was very helpful.

However, she's just rung me to say that they need further information from me, my most recent P60 (no problem), birth certificate (no problem), 3 months wage slips (no problem). However, they also want to see my home phone bill. I said that the phone bill isn't in my name, it's in my estranged husband's name, and she told me that if that was the case, I couldn't open the account until the bill was put in my name. I told her that the gas and electricity bills were in my name but she said that it had to be the phone bill. What would have happened, then, if I didn't have a home telephone? I didn't have a home phone for about four years, so I would have been knackered then.

I think that this is really stupid. Having banked with them for 24 years, you'd think they knew who the hell I was, wouldn't you? It's not the lady's fault, she did say she'd get back onto the powers that be, to see if they'd accept my utility bills and driving licence instead.

Isn't bureacracy wonderful?

headbanging

No, not the stuff I used to do on the dancefloor of Jilly's in my misspent youth, but ouch! My head is really banging.

I had a headache yesterday at work and it got worse and worse, so I went to bed at about 10pm (after up-chucking my tea) and went out like a light. This morning, I woke up at 06.40 and the headache was still there, so now I'm right fed up with it. I've necked a couple of aspirin, so I hope it'll help, but I've got a bad feeling about this. I feel sick again, too. I want my bed :o(

Oh yeah, and my car is dead, so I've had to bring the bike into work again, and it's pissing down :o(

Bolton Iron Maiden reunion

As a Boltonian, and a rock music fan, I must hang my head in shame, because until I saw a mention on the Total Rock newsletter, I'd never heard of The Bolton Iron Maiden. I assumed that it must be an American covers band, but I clicked on it anyway, just out of interest, and I'm glad I did, cos I was wrong.

This band were performing under the name of Iron Maiden quite some time before the Iron Maiden we all know and love today, and as far as I can see, there is no link at all between the two bands. Sadly, the Bolton Iron Maiden split up after the death of their lead guitarist, Ian Boulton-Smith, and were never to be seen again...until now!

To mark the 30th anniversary of Ian's passing, the rest of the band have got back together to do a reunion gig and release a CD to raise money for Cancer Research UK and MacMillan Cancer Relief. I've had a listen to the sound clips on the website and I have to say that I love 'em! So I'll definitely be buying the CD, (but you can download tracks from the website too, at a measly 79p each) and I'm going to try to get to the Reunion Gig too, at the Soundhouse in Bolton on 23 June 2006. Oh yeah, and the current Iron Maiden have given their blessing to the project too.
Remember folks, this CD is for charity and the band aren't making any money from it at all, so anyone found copying it, or distributing it electronically without coughing up the dosh for the charities, is a total low down scrotebag and deserves to have the fleas of a thousand camels infest their crotch and their arms become too short to scratch it.

greenfingers

I've been out in the garden again. I didn't plan on doing any gardening, but whilst I was putting the bike away, I noticed that the ivy was fouling the garage door, so I thought I'd just get the secateurs and tidy it up.

So once I'd done that, I thought I'd tidy up the old lavender, cos it's on its last legs. When I'd done that, I thought I'd try to replant a bit of it and see if I can revive it. So whilst I was at it, I planted the sage, oregano and mint.

The garden is looking better and healthier now. All I need to do is persuade next door's dog to stop dropping his toys in my plant pots. See here.

Thinking of having breast implants?

Read here and think again.

and new words

Washington Post's Style Invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are some of the winners:

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.
3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
4. Giraffiti (n): Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis (n): Terminal coolness.
8. Osteopornosis (n): A degenerate disease.
9. Karmageddon (n): It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer, yeah?
10. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
11. Glibido (v): All talk and no action.
12. Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
14. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
15. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

new definitions

1. Coffee (n.), the person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.
6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle (n.), olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon (n), a Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent (n.), an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Stolen bikes alert

Two bikes were stolen from the Thumper Club stand at the BMF, near Peterborough, in the early hours of Saturday morning. Please can you keep an eye out for:

Honda SLR650, reg R29GBV, black with purple trim, Talon supermoto wheels, high level UFO mudguard. Another picture here























Yamaha XT600E, H81VYA, blue.
Picture here
Both stolen from the BMF site between midnight and 5.30am on Saturday 20th May.

If anyone should happen to see them, be offered them, or have any info please contact Cambridgeshire Police on 08454 564564.

And may the thieves' balls rot and drop off.

Purple Helmets

I'd just like to say a big thanks to Cooldrums for reminding me of the wonderful Purple Helmets. I've seen them perform several times, but nothing will ever beat that first experience, sitting on the grass on a hot summer's day, trying very very hard not to piss myself laughing.

If you've never seen them in action, keep a look out for them. I can give you my completely unbiased opinion that they truly are as funny as fuck. If you don't get to see them live, buy their video, it's well worth it.

I particularly like the mechanic's overalls. I think Hairy Steve should have a set like those, but of course I don't think we'd ever coax him into wearing overalls.

gas gas gas!

I'd love to know what the hell I ate that did that to my guts, but I pretty much managed to empty the Old Windmill last night. Sorry lads :o(

glad I'm not the only one

who isn't entirely sorry at the passing of Eric Forth. Recess Monkey has penned an obituary which sums him up quite succinctly, I think:

Oh Eric, now you have passed
How my thoughts turn
To the Private Members Bills
That didn’t

joined up Government

BikerGran has made a very good point today:

We know exactly where any untaxed car is located among the millions of cars in Britain...

but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the DVLA in charge of immigration...?

Let sleeping Pikeys lie...

I posted this cos I like it. No other reason.

He's ever so cute when he's asleep :o)

dead Tory

So, Eric Forth has finally shuffled off this mortal coil.

I've enjoyed reading the tributes, mostly cos no-one has had the balls to say that he was a complete pain in the arse to anyone wanting to bring a Private Members' Bill. He would deliberately filibuster in order to make debates run out of time, so that the law could not progress. It was entirely down to him that the first Fireworks Bill failed, and I was so bloody annoyed that I felt like going down to Westminster solely to slap him round the chops.

However, to his credit, he did have an excellent sense of timing. As Guido Fawkes points out:

"It was only a week or two ago that Eric Forth, when Ming stood up to ask the PM a question about the pensions crisis, boomed "Declare your interest!". The House of Commons collapsed into laughter. Ming was deflated and unable to recover from the well-timed interjection."

Happy Birthday Ferritt!

Another day older...

Bread is Dangerous - ban it now!

Kingdom of Madness reveals all : http://matneym.blogspot.com/2006/05/bread-is-dangerous.html

Oh yeah, and Hi Mike! Hope things are going well for you, hope to see you back in the UK if the next Magnumania gets up and running :o)

fiddling wiv meself again

I just spent the past two hours practicing on the fiddle. My arms are killing me. I really ought to practice for half an hour a day, instead of binge-practicing (no playing for a week and then 2 hours in one go).

Ouch!

My mate Clare, from the gym, has had problems with her mouth since being a baby, so she is always extra careful when sparring. She wears a head guard and a gum shield and has learned duck out of the way pretty quickly when someone aims one at her head.

Sadly, her skills didn't help her much at work the other day. She's a nursery nurse. One of the little shits darlings headbutted her and broke two of her front teeth. She's not a happy bunny.

Tough luck Clare, hon. Hope you feel better soon.

feeling shite :o(

My old friend tonsillitis has decided to pay a visit and I feel like shite. My throat is red raw, my neck feels like it's in a vice and I've got a headache, although that could be something to do with not getting home until 2am after being stuck in bloody roadworks on the M6 last night.

Tonight, I think I will be having an early night.

off to the NABD

If you're not going to the NABD Rally, then you're missing a damn fine weekend.

I'll be marshalling so I'm going today and coming home Monday, so behave yerselves whilst I'm gone. I, on the other hand, have no intention of behaving and no, I'm not gonna video it. You'll have to wait for the stills.

dramatic photo from Australian mine rescue

OK, just to be serious for a second, I'm really glad that the two miners got out safely, and my sincere condolences go to the family and friends of the chap that didn't make it.

the greatest action story ever told!

I have no idea what Bad Toad was looking for when he found this but it's as funny as feck!

body part theft

Shamelessly stolen from a forum I read:

While the kidney story was an urban legend, this one is not. It's happening every day.

My thighs were stolen from me during the night a few years ago.

It was just that quick. I went to sleep in my body and woke up with someone else's thighs.

The new ones had the texture of cooked oatmeal. Who would have done such a cruel thing to legs that had been mine for years? Whose thighs were these and what happened to mine?

I spent the entire summer looking for my thighs. Finally, hurt and angry, I resigned myself to living out my life in jeans and support tights

Then, just when my guard was down, the thieves struck again. My arse was next. I knew it was the same gang, because they took pains to match my new rear end (although badly attached at least three inches lower than my original) to the thighs they stuck me with earlier. Now, my rear complemented my legs, lump for lump. Frantic, I prayed that long skirts would stay in fashion.

It was two years ago when I realized my arms had been switched. One morning I was brushing my hair and I watched horrified but fascinated as the flesh of my upper arms swung to and fro with the motion of the hairbrush. This was really getting scary. My body was being replaced one section at a time. How clever and fiendish.

Age? Age had nothing to do with it. Age is supposed to creep up, unnoticed, something like maturity. NO, I was being attacked repeatedly and without warning. In despair, I gave up my T-shirts.

What could they do to me next?

My poor neck disappeared more quickly than the Christmas turkey it now resembled.

That's why I decided to tell my story. I can't take on the medical profession by myself. Women of the world, wake up and smell the coffee.

That really isn't plastic that those surgeons are using. You KNOW where they are getting those replacement parts, don't you?

The next time you suspect someone has had a face "lifted", look again. Was it lifted from you?

I think I finally found my thighs .. and I hope that Cindy Crawford paid a really good price for them!

This is not a hoax. This is happening to women in every town every night.

WARN YOUR FRIENDS.

P.S. I must say that last year I thought someone had stolen my breasts. I was lying in bed and they were gone! As I jumped out of bed I was relieved to see that they had just been hiding in my armpits as I slept. Now I keep them hidden in my waistband.

another dig at Prezza

Whyis John Prescott like an MFI flatpack?

A couple of screws in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls to pieces

petrol prices

This amused me. Not because of the song, but because of the irony that it comes from the USA, where petrol is obscenely cheap compared to the UK, owing to the fact that the US Government doesn't give a damn about global warming, so long as the US citizens are fulfilling their 'American Dream'.

Hey, Jochan, do you get a staff discount?

dog philosophy

If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

we know what it is, we know who it is...

but for god's sake tell us where it is!

Dear oh dear, Freya is in trouble.

I went round last night and as Sue opened the door, she gave me a look and said "yes, I know there's a smell, Freya's done a raid."

I should explain that Freya is my mate's beautiful alsation. She's drop dead gorgeous and is anyone's for a biscuit. Mike got her from a dogs' home and she was in a terrible state, practically starving. It's taken him years to turn her into the lovely dog she is now. Previously, she had to forage for her own food and steal what she could. Although she has no need to do this now, occasionally she has a mad moment and goes on a raid. This time it was the fridge.

They found the lamb chops in the middle of the record collection. Other items have been found under cushions and hidden in corners. They thought they'd found all of the stuff, but then the 'smell' started. They've hunted everywhere but they can't find the offending item, and Freya is stubbornly refusing to co-operate.

In the meantime, she has eaten one of her toys, and is currently shitting red and blue bits. Mike said "that is NOT my dog", and hung his head in shame.

On the good side, the vet has now decided that she is up to a normal weight. She should be, after that last raid!

I'm Spartacus!

I make no secret of the fact that I don't like kids. 'orrible little things with a noise at one end and a bad smell at the other. However, I have to admit that one little squeaker just cheered me up.

My neighbour's two year-old marched up to me, tapped himself on the chest and announced "I'm Spartacus!" with a big grin on his face, giggled like a good 'un and ran off again. That made I larf, that did.

rip off Britain?

I got a letter from my energy provider yesterday, informing me that they were putting my cominbed gas/electricity bill up from £60 per month to £93 per month. I checked on my online account and it said I am £139.40 in credit.

Their letter claims that it's OK for them to put up the bill when someone is in credit, because people need to build up credit to cover the winter months when people use more energy. Sorry? Haven't we just come to the end of winter? If I'm in credit at the end of winter and they put the bill up, surely I'll be in even more credit and they'll have to refund me?

I think this is a swizz. They're taking more money than I can afford to pay, when I don't owe it, and they're getting the benefit of a free loan from me.

I wanted to talk to someone about it, but their call centre is available only from 08:45 to 16:45 Monday to Friday, when I am at work. Most people aren't free to phone from work, so they are effectively cutting off communication to those of us who work full time.

I have, of course, sent them a suitably snotty e-mail.

I know that gas prices have risen, but surely they can't justify a 50% increase in the bill? Or have I missed something?

another one for the language buffs...

Thanks to a friend on the OU who spotted this one:

"A parent with a child at private school received a letter from said school, stating that, unfortunately, due to costs etc, the fees were being increased to such-and-such an amount per anum (sic).
The parent in question apparently replied to the effect that, if they didn't mind, he/she would continue to pay through the nose as usual!"

British Justice?

It's no wonder our society is going down the pan, when criminals get away scot-free. This pillock should be rotting in jail.

http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/s/212/212525_anger_as_road_menace_avoids_jail.html

More food

I'm just embarking on a little experiment in the kitchen. If it all goes to plan, in about 15 minutes time, I will be dining on tagliatelli with creme fraiche, smoked salmon, leek and mushroom.

If it doesn't go to plan, I'll be eating toast.

It never ends...

No matter how much I tidy up in this house, the mess just seems to get worse. How, in the space of only one day, can the washing-up multiply to the amount produced in a small restaurant? I didn't have any wine last night, so why are there 5 dirty wine glasses and 2 tall glasses with suspicious brown stain in the bottom? Why are there 6 dirty plates? How the hell have we used 14 knives but only 4 forks?

As for the suitcase on the sofa and the clothes strewn all over the living room floor... well, what can I say. He came home from conference on Wednesday, he's had two days off work and despite the fact he claims to have 'sorted some things out', this house is the worst I have ever seen it. The dining table has disappeared again too. Not bad since it was utterly clear on Wednesday.

I'm pissed off with tidying. I think I'm just gonna buy a load of bin bags. I wonder if I can stick him in one? Will the bin men take him away? I doubt it.

Food review - Heinz Weightwatchers Chicken Noodle Soup

Tastes like the water left over after boiling cabbage, adding pepper didn't help. Didn't find any chicken in it. Only ate it because I had nothing else available. Won't be buying it again, I'll stick to my homemade. At least that has chicken in it.

Urgent! BMW Product Recall

Thanks to Excalibur for bringing this to my attention

Get Freecycling!

What a bloody good idea! Got a load of stuff you no longer want? Can't be bothered having a car boot sale, or listing it on eBay? Why not just give it away to someone in your area, free, gratis and fer nowt?

http://uk.freecycle.org/

Congratulations...

to Isla on getting a new job. Good luck missus!

Green Fingers

Last night, I decided to mow the front lawn, cos it was looking a bit scraggy. After I'd mowed it, I realised that it was full of moss, so I got the grass rake out. It turns out that there's actually more moss than grass :o(

Anyway, I went into B&Q before work this morning. It opens at 7am, you know. I only went in for moss killer, and came out with twenty quidsworth of bedding plants.

Hmmm, wonder what mum's doing tonight?

It's cold in 'ere...

Smurf has been at home all day. I got home and said "It's cold in here, can you shut the back door, please?"

So what does he do? Bleeds the radiators. Still left the back door open though. No wonder my gas bill is through the friggin' roof!

Knackered

It's quarter to midnight and I've just got home from the Celtic Warriors Birthday Bash. OK, so I did stop off at Spike's and had about 4 hours kip this afternoon, but I needed it. Believe me, I really needed it.

I'm too knackered to do a writeup just now, so you'll have to wait.

Night all.

Warning failure to comply could seriously damage your health

It has come to the notice of the management at Shirl's Place that this accommodation is being misused as the supposed occupier is often away recently leaving it empty. As said occupier is not answering her phone we the undersigned feel compelled to draw her attention via this blog to her dereliction of duty.

We trust that we will see an improvement in behaviour in the future.

signed:

Shirl

Deb

Isla

Breakfast in bed :o)

Wow! I've just been brought breakfast in bed - a bacon butty and a brew. Me like ;o) I think I'm gonna keep this bloke. Now, where did I put the handcuffs?

Yet another Lost Weekend

OK, it's taken me a week to get round to writing this, cos I've been so busy.

Last Friday I headed off to Stourbridge's Rock Café to see Lost Weekend and Bob Catley. If the truth be known, I really went to see Lost Weekend more than Bob Catley, cos I'm seeing Bob Catley tomorrow night anyway, at the Celtic Warriors Birthday Bash.

We got to the hotel mid-afternoon, had a beer, met up with a few mates and went off for a ruby, before going back for another beer and then off to the gig.

We were joined by our very own Lou & Andy, in the form of Krammer and Yoda. Yoda decided he didn't want to bother using the subway under the ring road and hurtled off at great speed, the wrong way down the road, with Spike in hot pursuit, convinced that he was going to get splattered. Having successfully negotiated the crossing of the ring road, Yoda then proceeded to hurtle down the steep hill to the Rock Café, waving his arms in the air and screaming "No brakes! No brakes!", much to the concern of the assembled fans outside the venue.

Despite a few teething problems with the sound, Lost Weekend soon got the place rocking. Dave T still pulls some amazing faces and new guitarist Squiz definitely adds to the great feel of the band. I didn't get to say hello to him, but I was pretty impressed. I had a chat with the others after the gig and I think they were happy to be on tour again, despite the hassle of the travelling and setups. Paul has a really strong voice, and I was interested to read on another forum that Jack has been compared to Nicko McBrain - praise indeed! Robin, usually the quiet man of the band, seemed pretty chuffed with the response to the set and the positive comments from fans new and old. After all, they were bloody good!

I have to say that I was rather disappointed with Bob Catley's set. It got off to a pretty poor start, and I lost interest within the first two numbers. However, about half way through, it picked up and I was singing along to the end. The accoustic version of 'Days of No Trust' was excellent, but I was surprised that Bob did three Magnum numbers, given that it's supposed to be his solo tour. I would have liked to have heard a couple from When Empires Burn, cos I really like that album.

Krammer and Yoda had to leave before the end of Bob's set, and Spike went to wave them off. Dave T nearly spat his beer out when he asked Spike if he was leaving and he said "No, I'm just chucking out the cripple."

Having read comments about this tour on various fora, it seems that the general opinion is that Lost Weekend blew Bob Catley away and folks want to hear a lot more from them. It's about time that they got some more exposure, perhaps on the rally scene. They're a damn fine band with some solid tunes and I reckon that they'd go down a storm at biker parties.

Photos here.

Another day older...

Happy Birthday Jochan!

I suppose there's no point in me telling you NOT to have a beer or six?

Have a good 'un honey!

Stop!

When did stop stop meaning stop? What the hell is Womble on about now?, I hear you ask.

At every set of traffic lights, there is a stop line. It's a big thick white line, done in reflective paint too, so you can see it better in the dark. In case you don't know, here's what the Highway Code says:

151: You MUST stop behind the white 'Stop' line across your side of the road unless the light is green. If the amber light appears you may go on only if you have already crossed the stop line or are so close to it that to stop might cause an accident.
Laws RTA 1988 sect 36 & TSRGD regs 10 & 36

152: You MUST NOT move forward over the white line when the red light is showing. Only go forward when the traffic lights are green if there is room for you to clear the junction safely or you are taking up a position to turn right. If the traffic lights are not working, proceed with caution. Allow cyclists and buses time and space to move off when the green signal shows.
Laws RTA 1988 sect 36 & TSRGD regs 10 & 36

This means that you have to stop at the white line, not stop three feet over it, or continue crawling until the lights change. It means STOP! FFS! What is so bloody difficult about that? I can understand it if you had to stop in a hurry, but if the light is already on red when you approach it, there's no excuses other than stupidity and incompentence.

As for taxi drivers, yes, the law applies to you too! Just because there's nothing coming the other way, it doesn't mean you can ignore the red light. I want to install a device which pops up sharp spikes about 2 seconds after the light goes red. Then, if you cross the line, you get an instant fine - the price of new tyres. That'll stop the bastards.

Charity needed

Shamelessly stolen from Gunnery Sergeant Hartman (sorry Mike!) - please do everything you can to help save the rock bands.

Will it be a hot one?

According to Spike's housemate Kyle, the last time it snowed in April was in 1976, the year of the amazingly hot summer. I really must get down to the pound shop and get some more shades :o)

Womble's latest vice

Green and Black's organic hot chocolate granules, eaten straight from the jar. MMmmmmmm!

Dominion over the fish of the sea...

It appears that the Queen owns all the sturgeon, whales, porpoises and dolphins in the seas around the UK. Does this mean, then, that our dearly beloved Madge should have been the one to help guide the whale that got lost up the Thames? I can just see her in a wetsuit and snorkel...

Healthy eating

OK, I've decided I'm too fat and I eat too much junk food. So day, being a good Womble, I've had a big tuna salad (£1.85 from the Superior Sandwich Company, Bath Street, Bolton - blatant plug in the hope of free food ;o)) and some fresh pineapple (sorry Spike).

So why am I still so bloody hungry? I reckon that healthy food just doesn't fill you up enough.

Big Muck?

Years and years ago, Jasper Carrott once did a short film about how burgers are made. It showed bin men collecting the rubbish, then showed the bin waggon dumping the rubbish into a big compactor, where it was squashed and macerated into a pulp which went down tubes which fed onto hotplates, turning the muck into burgers. I've never forgotten it.

Today, I have been asked by my boss to accompany him to the re-opening of a branch of a well-known fast food outlet. I wonder if those big brown paper bags are strong enough to use as barf bags?

Sun, rain, sun, snow, sun

Well, that just about sums up today's ride.

Set off in glorious sunshine. Five miles down the road, it was raining. Met up with Dr. Pain en-route and when we got to the pub we discovered that it was just the two of us. Apparently the car drivers were having an Observers' meeting and had written to all of the Associates (including the bike ones) to tell them not to come.

Anyway, we decided to bog off up to Clitheroe in search of a big mug of hot chocolate. By the time we got there, it was starting to snow gently, and it was bloody cold. We hung around until it stopped snowing and then headed back down the A59 towards Preston, where we went our separate ways; he went home and I went off to see my Aged Ps.

At the Aged Ps house, of course the inevitable happened. "Cup of tea dear? Oh and can you have a look at my computer?" Hmmmmmph. So I spent 3 hours removing the obsolete AV/Firewall, putting new ones on, scanning the machine, installing MSN and answering silly questions. Whilst I was there, the snow came down quite heavily. It was weird, like big soft hailstones, about the size of Maltesers, but they melted really quickly.

Still, mum gave me some scones which were bloody nice, as usual. I have to say (without a hint of bias) that my mum bakes the best scones in the world. And no, Blue, I didn't bring any home, before you ask ;o)

By the time I left, the snow had gone, the sun was out and the roads were lovely and dry. The ride home was pretty good, cos I was playing with the cars again. There's a road, called Glazebrook Lane, which has a long stretch of 30mph, and it's a real pain in the arse. There's no reason why it can't be NSL, but nope, it's 30. Most people speed up to about 50 anyway, but I'm a belligerent bastard, and when I've got a car up my chuff, I'll stick to bang on 30, until I get to the GLF sign and then I, well, GLF. It really upsets them, you know. One minute they're 6 feet from my rear end, jockeying to get round me, and the next, they're washing the dust from the windscreen and I'm just a dot in the distance. Tee hee hee.

Got home and realised I'd turned the heating off - not good. So now I'm sat here in front of the fire with a mug of tea, defrosting my feet. Ahhhh, happy days.

Wakey wakey!

Last night, I was feeling a bit low and grumpy and I said that if it was raining in the morning, I really didn't want to go out on the bike and I was gonna stay in bed. Spike said that it might be lovely and sunny and I'd feel better.

Well? You were right hon. Opened the curtains to a blue sky and glorious sunshine :o)

So, I've had a brew and a bowl of cornflakes and I'm almost ready to face the world. I suppose it might be an idea to get dressed first though. Don't wanna upset the neighbours.

I think I might head off to the Lockgate Cafe at Beeston, on the A49 cos I've not been there for a while and they do make a lovely bacon butty.

Belly Ads

Shamelessly stolen from Recess Monkey, cos it's as funny as feck :o)

Jesus Christ, the musical

This made I larf, it did :o)

http://perso.wanadoo.fr/urcodemonbreuil/jesus1.wmv

Gene Pitney

Undertakers have said it will take 3 weeks to make Gene Pitneys coffin from oak, but only 24 hours from balsa.

Being pedantic

Whinge of the day.

Will people please stop saying things like:

"at 10 a.m. in the morning".

Aaaarrrrggghhh!

Quick lesson:

'a.m.' stands for 'ante meridiem' - the Latin for 'before noon'.
'p.m.' stands for 'post meridiem' - the Latin for 'after noon'.

So, by saying '10 a.m. in the morning', you are actually saying '10 before noon in the morning'.

This is a phenomenon known as 'tautology' - unnecessarily saying the same thing twice.

Scotland's smoking ban

Congratulations to the Scots. May you be smoke free forever :o)


"Hurry up, you lot. There are other people dying for a fag too y'know."

who's a proper biker? :p

I was up at 7:30 this morning, and out of the house by 8:20. I did a short ride today, only about 80 miles round trip, and it pissed it down the whole time. Southport had horizontal rain on the coast road, and Rainford bypass was an interesting combination of puddles, small lakes and nasty gusting side winds.

The bike was a complete bitch too, it was only running on 3 pots for a while and when number 4 kicked in at about 7k rpm, the bike surged forward like a machine possessed. I reckon I must have got water in a plug cap from yesterday's washing spree. Hurrah for WD-40!

I was rather glad to get home, cos I was getting that yakky wet feeling around the crotch that tells me that my waterproofs no longer are :o( That's more expense. Oh yeah, and I need new brake pads too.

Saying that, the brakes did me proud on the East Lancs. I didn't think I could go from 70 to 0 in the space of the two sets of lights under the M6 flyover, but somehow I managed it. I was a bit wary, given the newness of the tyres, but I should have known better. Battlaxes are damn good tyres - and they bloody well should be, given the price!

OK, so I was pisswetthrough, but I still enjoyed myself.

Motorbike TLC

Finally got my new tyres fitted today, a nice shiny pair of Battlax BT020s. And they are shiny too, they need scrubbing in. Shiny tyres and wet roads are not a good combination.

I did have a short ride but it started raining so I came home, cos I only had my summer jacket on and it soaks up rain summat rotten. There was a match on at the Reebok and I saw about 7 plod bikes. Got a nod out of 2 of 'em too :o)

Anyway, I've even washed the bike and greased the chain this afternoon, so I'm all set for tomorrow's ride now.

Pain :o(

My hayfever is now kicking in with a vengeance. My head is killing me and I just want to go to sleep in a darkened room. So far today I've taken anti-histamines, a steroid spray, three lots of decongestants and some aspirin. It's not working.

The doctor says that I can't have my usual hayfever jab, cos there's 'no evidence' that it works. BULLSHIT! It's the only thing that does work for me :o( It looks like I'm gonna have to spend the next six months indoors. Just like I had to three years ago, when they wouldn't let me have the jab then, either.

What gets me is that they tell me I can't have the steroid jab cos it's not good for me, but then tell me to shove steroids up my nose instead. Great.

Way to go, Jodie!

Recess Monkey spotted this tirade from Jodie Marsh, attacking Lib Dem MP Phil Willis for trying to prevent her from talking to schoolkids about bullying.

Good on ya, Jodie, and keep up the good work. The bloke is obviously a moron, asking questions just to make it look like he's doing something and justifying his own existence.

He asked the following question, number 60882:

"To ask the Secretary of State for Education and Skills if she will take steps to deny Jodie Marsh access to schools for which her Department is responsible."

Get a life, Willis!

Oh yeah, and Willis's website ain't compatible with Firefox, so I probably won't be going there again.

Prediction

Yesterday, a friend gave me a 2½ lb box of Belgian chocolates. They're very very nice. Cheers Gary!

I predict that I will be feeling sick at some point this afternoon.

IQ

No, not the band, excellent as they are, but an IQ test. Apparently I'm an 'Insightful Linguist'. In real terms, this means I'm crap at maffs, but I knew that anyway.

But here's what it says about me:

Your IQ score is 131

This number is based on a scientific formula that compares how many questions you answered correctly on the Classic IQ Test relative to others.

Your Intellectual Type is Insightful Linguist. This means you are highly intelligent and have the natural fluency of a writer and the visual and spatial strengths of an artist. Those skills contribute to your creative and expressive mind.

Unfair bank charges?

Thanks to Mustang Boy for the heads up on this one.

If your bank has slapped charges on you for going overdrawn, or missing a direct debit, read this and this and then do something about it!

painted Womble

I just found out that Black hair dye turns your skin blue. I think I've got it all off now though, although I was a bit worried about my ears for a while...

Boz gets wrecked :o)

The Brickies Bike Club had a surprise party in honour of Boz's 40th birthday. I think the pictures tell the story better than words could...

snot

I had an appointment with the quack at 10:40 today. I arrived there at 10:30, didn't get to see the doc until 11:00. I don't suppose that's too bad, really. Anyway, the doc was very nice and gave me a prescription for some new anti-hayfever drugs and sent me off to the pharmacy. I waited in the pharmacy for 20 minutes and then was told that they didn't have one of the items on my prescription, so I've got to go back tomorrow. Ho hum.

I can't really complain too much, otherwise Debs will be on my back ;o) Of course we all know that medical secretaries are the much misunderstood saviours of the NHS :o)

I do wish that someone would come up with a cure for hayfever - they'd make millions.

Busy Womble

Blimey, I've not posted anything on here for ages. Saying that, at least I'm not as bad as Isla - she's only put one post on her blog. I wonder if this will shame her into putting something in there?

I've been a very busy Womble recently. I've still got 9 days holiday left and the holiday year ends on 31 March. Boss says I can carry a few days over though. I might need 'em.

Anyway, here's brief rundown of a couple of things I've been up to:

• Went to the pictures with Spike and saw Lucky Number Slevin - damn good thriller with occasional gratuitous violence :o)
• Went ice skating in Coventry and fell on me knee and me bum. Most undignified.
• Spent hours at Grav's trying to get me front sprocket off. Even with our combined efforts, we nearly killed ourselves with the exertion and I swear I could hear the damn thing laughing at us. Even with Grav's big tool, we still couldn't pull it off ;o)
• Riding my bike :o)
• Working
• Filling up my new 20gb MP3 player (thanks Davey!). It works a treat in me skid lid :o)
  
• Sleeping
  

and on the matter of sleeping - I'm off to bed cos I'm knackered.

Night all

One of those days...

1. I've screwed up the connection to my work's VPN (all my own work too!) and I'm waiting for an engineer to tell me how to fix it.
2. I've left my mobile phone at home and I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.
3. Something has gone bang on the car and the tracking has gone wonky.
4. My bike is in desperate need of new chain and sprockets - it's unsafe at the moment.
5. I had a nosebleed this morning :o(

If anything else is to go wrong, I hope it all happens today and that I can have the rest of the week incident-free. Please.

Aaarrrggghh!

I'm up in Kinross again, for the Milnathort Folk Fest. When I went to bed last night, it was cold. This morning, I opened the curtains to find 6" of snow outside :o(

I hate snow. Isla (born again teenager) thinks it's all lovely and fluffy and put there specifically for her to play in. I think it's a bloody nuisance. I've gotta drive home in this crap tomorrow :o(

Tired and shagged out

Not had time to blog this week, been too busy. I think I slept like the dead on Tuesday night.

I've been working my guts out this week, and still don't feel like I've made any impression on the huge pile of paper on my desk :o(

I need a receptionist/dogsbody/tea-brewer to keep me sane.

Oh yeah, and me leg's killing me again :o(

Today, I shall mostly be whingeing.

Sunday morning giggle

Mr. Otto at the Olympics : http://gprime.net/flash.php/mr

Lost Weekend

Lost Weekend are playing at Bar 15 in Halifax tonight. I'll be there, I'll be the grinning idiot near the front ...

Stuffed

Went to the Chinese for lunch, so I'm stuffed now. I think I need an afternoon nap.

Numb

Will somebody please take away this big black cloud that has descended upon me? It's suffocating my brain :o(

Womble gets sent to Coventry

Off to Coventry today, never been there before, so I've composed a little song in honour of my journey:

Spikey put the kettle on
Spikey put the kettle on
Spikey put the kettle on
or Womble'll kick yer 'ed in.

Tee hee.

It's 3.39am, I can't sleep and I was bored, so I thought I might as well post some inane crap on here.

Oh yeah, and I'm still in bed and the laptop is burning my legs. I really must get a cooling pad for it. Or asbestos legs.

A quiet night in

My lovely pal Spikey DaPikey gave me the heads up on a freebie from the Grauniad today - a DVD of The Wicker Man, so I went out and got it this morning. It's one of those films which is nearly always on late at night, and I've seen the first 20 minutes of it several times, but never made it to the end.

So, seeing as I've got the house to myself, I'm gonna crack open a bottle of wine, make a nice stir-fry and then lounge on the sofa and watch the film. The phone will be on silent and the door will not be answered.

Ahhhhh, Womble heaven :o)

Bird flu precautions

In an effort to stop the spread of bird flu, George Bush has just announced that he is going to bomb the Canary Islands.

Party time!

I'm off out to Millennium BC's party in Preston. HappyBiker has kindly offered to chauffeur me for the night so I can have a few drinkies :o)

CYA later :o)

Scotland - part 2

We arrived in Edinburgh on Thursday evening and checked into a rather excellent B&B, and then caught the bus into the city centre. We decided to eat at Bella Italia and then we went on a ghost tour, which was bloody brilliant. Euan, the guide was very impressive, but he wouldn't let me nick his lovely black cloak with the red satin lining. I think it would have been perfect for me.

After the tour, we went into The Tass and listened to a lass called Helen Reeves singing a load of Nancy Griffiths stuff. She's a damn fine singer and definitely worth a listen.

When we got back to the B&B, I once again fell into bed and into a coma until the alarm woke me at something past seven.

It was a lovely day on Friday, and we got to the castle just after ten o'clock. We wandered round for a few hours and waited for the one o'clock gun. Dave took a video of it, which is dead funny cos he leapt about 3 feet into the air when it went off, so he didn't actually capture the moment. However, the super-cool Womble managed to get a photo with no camera shake at all :o)

After we'd witnessed the firing of the gun, we headed off down the Royal Mile and into the Camera Obscura. Now this is an attraction I really think is worth a visit. There's lots of things to play with, including those irritating Magic Eye pictures that I only seem to be able to work out when I'm pissed as a fart. The camera obscura itself is, unsurprisingly, at the top of the building, and you can also go outside onto the roof and have a great view of the city.

After the camera obscura, we continued down the Royal Mile and called in at Mary King's Close. This was an extremely interesting tour of the closes hidden underneath the Royal Mile, where people lived, worked and died.

By this time, it was getting late and we decided to go in search of food. After we'd eaten we headed into Jongleurs for the evening and watched three average comedians and a superb compere (Micky Hutton). I noted that Brendan Riley and Paul B Edwards will be performing there at the end of March, so I might take another trip up there, cos those two are most definitely worth watching.

On Saturday morning, we set off early into Edinburgh and straight into the Museum of Childhood. I found it very interesting, but most of the stuff was more than 30 years old, so there wasn't that much from my own childhood there (me being just a mere young thing).

From there, we went down to Dynamic Earth and spent a few hours learning about how the earth got from the primordial sludge to how it is today. My favourite bit of the tour was the 'Shaping the Earth' video presentation. We sat on the floor and the three huge video screens in front of us showed us a fantastic flight over glaciers. It was so amazing that it almost felt like we were actually flying above the ground, to the point where we all grabbed the floor when the 'plane' tilted. It's a very interesting place and well worth a visit, although I rushed the end of the tour because I was desperate for the bog :o( Given that the end of the tour is in the 'rain forest', it only made my need more urgent! Even the gift shop is ace.

Next to Dynamic Earth is the new Holyrood Parliament building. I have to say that this is probably the most ugly building I have ever seen. It's got loads bits stuck on to the outside which are really unattractive and don't appear to serve any purpose. And what's going on with all the bamboo pole things? I can just imagine those falling off and twatting someone on the bonce.

We headed back up the Royal Mile and off towards the Edinburgh Dungeon. We got there just as it started pissing down with rain and the queue was really long. The sign said there was at least a 30 minute wait, so we thought 'stuff this for a lark' and went round the corner to the Tourist Information Office and pre-booked tickets. We then went off into the shopping centre where we had a Thai takeaway, which was jolly nice, and then back to the dungeon, where the queue was even longer. As we now had pre-booked tickets, we were shown straight to the front of the queue :o) The tour of the dungeon was really entertaining, starting off in a medieval court room, where two people were picked upon to be the criminals - a lass who was accused of being a witch, and poor old Dave who pleaded guilty to cross-dressing and was permitted to choose between hanging or exile in Wales. He chose hanging. We were then led into a maze of mirrors which was great fun watching other people walk into them. The maze led to a torturer's chamber where we were shown a few lovely devices for upsetting people. From there, we went into a section about the ressurection men, and then into the anatomy theatre. From the anatomy theatre, we were led to the vampire slayer, where we all took the pledge 'in the name of Buffy' and sent along our way in a boat to the home of Sawney Bean and his family of cannibals. We were then 'rescued' by a MacDonald who led us into his croft where we were 'attacked' by the Campbells and then we fled the croft and the tour ended. We spent most of the tour killing ourselves laughing. It was a really great tour and is another attraction I'd recommend.

For our final evening in Edinburgh, we went to a tapas bar and ate ourselves silly and drank copious amounts of wine, before heading back to the B&B for an early-ish night. Well, early compared to the other nights anyway.

On Sunday morning, we left Edinburgh and headed back in the general direction of Kinross, calling in at the Falkirk Wheel, the worlds only rotating boat lift, on the way. I'd tried to visit the wheel before, at New Year, but it was closed, and it was so foggy that I couldn't see it, even though I was only about 100 yards away. This time, although it was a bit drizzly, it was open and we got ourselves on the boat trip. The guide gave us some very interesting information on why the wheel was built, how the location was chosen and also some technical information.

I've always been an engineering enthusiast; I find mechanical devices far more beautiful than paintings and trinkets. The Falkirk Wheel is an extremely impressive and beautiful piece of machinery and, for me at least, it was a wonder to behold. When we were on the boat, using the wheel itself, it was even more impressive. It was so smooth and quiet that if I shut my eyes, I wouldn't have believed it was moving at all, let alone lifting us 25 metres between the Union Canal and the Forth & Clyde Canal.

We then headed back off to Dave's place where we got fed and then I packed the bike and set off for the incredibly boring journey home. It rained all the way home, but I wasn't too tired when I arrived back in Lancashire at 9.20pm, just in time to get online and chat to my pals :o)

Scotland - part 1

At about 4pm on Saturday 4 February 2006, I set off on the bike, headed for Bonny Scotland. It was raining a little but not too much. However, that was soon to change. By the time I got past Morecambe, it was raining heavily and visibility was getting poor. By the time I got to Shap, the rain had all but stopped, but the fog had come down, and it was so thick that visibility was down to about 50 yards. I slowed down, but cars were still whizzing past me at silly speeds and it was a bit scary. Bikes don't have fog lights, you know.

It was still foggy by the time I got to Glasgow and there was a nasty pothole on a bend just as I changed motorways, which made my teeth rattle. Every time I saw a vehicle with orange flashing lights, I was thinking "please don't let that be a gritter". Being gritted on a bike is not a pleasant experience, I can assure you.

I came off the motorway at Kincardine Bridge and headed off towards Perth. It was quite a nice road, but it would have been nicer if it was dry. I was very relieved to arrive in Kinross, and I was completely and utterly knackered. Dave helped me to unload the bike and then whisked me off to the pub for a reviving drink or three. When we got back to the house, I went upstairs and fell into bed. I slept like a log and didn't emerge until about 10am.

I transferred my stuff into a sports bag and chucked it in the car and we set off for Aberdeen. We drove up the A93 through Blairgowrie, Braemar and Banchory and finally arrived in Aberdeen in the late afternoon. We found Jochan's place and were dead chuffed to find that, not only had he got a supply of bottled beers and a bottle of port, he'd also got the tea on. We had a lovely beef broth followed by chilli and it was dead nice. Cheers Jochan!

After tea, we headed off into Aberdeen town centre to sample some more beer. We finally settled in a cracking real ales pub called The Prince of Wales where I tested a few pints of Old Peculier, just to check for consistency, you understand. There were a few folkie types in the back room, playing fiddles, guitars and a mandolin, so I went in for a listen and managed to comandeer a fiddle to join in with one of the tunes, much to the amusement of Jochan and Dave. I was rather pissed by this time.

On the way back to Jochan's place we called in at some nightclub place that was playing 1980s pop music. Jochan said it was for the novelty value but I quite liked it, cos they played some A-ha and I still like them. Afterwards, we had a kebab and then eventually staggered up the three flights of stairs to the flat.

The following day, we set off again, towards Inverness. It took us all day to get there because we stopped off at several places on the way, including Loch Ness. Loch Ness is a very beautiful place but we didn't see the monster.

We decided that we'd go on a boat trip around Loch Ness and up to Urquhart Castle but when we arrived at the start point, the sky turned black and the heavens opened and pelted us with hailstones, so we said "bugger that for a lark" and got back in the car. We did see Urquhart Castle, for all of about three minutes. Dave did venture out of the car for a few seconds but I dug in and stayed warm. Dave now has a cold and is blaming me for it, cos he says I made him get wet. Nowt to do with me, guv. It's your own fault for wanting to take photos of wet castles.

About ten miles down the road, the clouds parted and it was nice and sunny again. We only stopped at the roadside to take photos about forty times, so it was very dark by the time we got to Inverness. By this time, my ankle was killing me and I was getting very fed up with it.

We had a minor panic when we arrived at the hotel because they couldn't find the booking, so I got a free cup of tea whilst the hotel staff tried to find out what was going on. Eventually they decided we could stay, so we dumped our bags and headed off into town in search of food. We found a really nice (and deserted) Chinese restaurant and stuffed our faces and then headed back off to the hotel and watched 'Life on Mars' before I fell into another coma-like sleep.

On the Tuesday morning we headed off towards Tain and the Glenmorangie distillery. We weren't allowed to take photos inside the distillery, so here's the outside instead.

The tour round the distillery was excellent, very interesting and informative, and the lovely smell of warm whisky was in the air. After the tour, we had a tasting session and I ended up buying a bottle of Maderia wood casked whisky to bring home, and a bottle of Crabbie's Green Ginger Wine, which I have since mixed with a bottle of Bell's.

On Tuesday evening we decided to pay a visit to the hotel's leisure complex, so we had a swim and a sit in the jacuzzi. Dave did venture into the steam room and the sauna, but I can't stand those things so I just stayed in the pool. After the swim, we had our tea in the hotel restaurant, which was pretty nice.

On Wednesday morning we travelled over to the Black Isle and visited the Black Isle Microbrewery. If you're ever in the area, I can recommend it to you. It's only a tiny place (hence the name 'micro') but the bloke who runs the place (Dave) is very friendly and gave us a tour. They do all the brewing and bottling (by hand) on site and they produce a good selection of organic ales. I decided to buy a selection and got a bottle each of Yellowhammer, Red Kite, Heather Honey and two bottles each of the Porter and of their winter ale, Hibernator II, which is one of the nicest winter ales I have ever tasted. You can buy their beers online and they're definitely worth a try.

We then set off towards Fort William and Ben Nevis. Whilst in Fort William, I bought a new jacket, cos it was getting bloody cold and I only had my denim with me, because I'd foolishly left my waterproof jacket back at Dave's.

On Thursday morning we took the cable car up Ben Nevis, and got this very nice piccy out of the window

It was lovely on Ben Nevis. We had a short walk on the soft, powdery snow and had a damn good look at the scenery. Although it was cold, it was sunny and very pleasant. I took a whole series of pics which I intend to stitch together into a panorama, but I haven't got round to it yet.

After Ben Nevis, we headed off through Glencoe towards Callendar. At Strathyre, we called in at the Munro Inn for something to eat. Actually, we drove past it but I saw a sign that said 'Biker Friendly' and 'Internet Access', so I yelled "Stop!" and we reversed and went into the car park. I'm glad we did stop there, because it's a lovely pub, complete with pub dogs :o) We took advantage of the pub's wireless broadband access to book a B&B in Edinburgh and then set off again.

Anyway, I've been typing for hours (with interruptions) and now I'm tired and I'm going to bed. Watch this blog for part 2.

She hit me!

Big thanks to Sam for giving me the heads up on this footage of a car hitting an R1. The rider happened to be running a video camera at the time and captured the event in glorious technicolour. Thankfully she's OK. I'd be interested to hear the outcome of the court case.

The debate rumbles on here : http://socalsportbikes.info/xmb/vie...d.php?tid=34948

CBT - how it should be done

This is absolute class. I wonder if he could do it on black ice with a heavier bike though? (Not that I'm still sulking, or anything).

Fixed it!

My bike now has a lovely new indicator. It's very clean and shiny, which is making the rest of the bike look rather untidy, but it'll soon bed in and be as mucky as the rest of it. There's a bit of a split in the indicator housing but hey, God Bless Duct Tape!

Oh yeah, and the handlebar switch for the brake light seems to have gone for a burton too. Never mind, the one on the back brake still works, so I'll just have to remember to use it occasionally.

The bike's going to the shop for a service on Valentine's Day (see how much I love my bike?), so I'll get it fixed then. Last service before the warranty runs out. The bloke in the shop said he'd never worked on a bike with as much as 20k on the clock. I don't know if I should be worried about that, or if he's just mixing with the wrong people. My GS had 80k on it before I got rid.

Brokeback Mountain - a synopsis

Gay cowboy 1 - "Yup?"
Gay cowboy 2 - "Yep!"
The End

Courtesy of Grav.

today is...

Tesla day!

I've been boogying round the office like a mad thing, remembering my mis-spent youth. Ahhh, happy days.

I loved Tesla the first time I heard them, and I still do. I wish they'd come and tour in the UK, they've not been here for bloody years.

weird concept

I've just bought a bag of Maltesers and, on the packet, is written "New Easy Open and Reclosable".

Why on earth would anyone want to reclose a bag of Maltesers? Strange people!

stop asking dumb questions and ...

JustFuckingGoogleIt!